Here we go..
Man oh man, I had this long talk with a somebody today.. I have had many of these "talks'' but none worth while. None worth putting mind to. None like this. I sit an cry at night thinking of ways to survive another day. I live to let myself fade away. I love, and yet i feel none back. I am through with this disgusting thing of mine that i call my life. I am filled with sorrow to think taht something as horried as taht is within my exsistance. When i think of how i could be a better person, I think of me laying in a casket in a big church. to my right would be many fake people. People that shed fake tears. And to my left be a paster. Saying things like "Jacquelyn was a cheerleader, and darn proud of it. She had many friends growing up and lived a wonderful life". The truth being, i joined cheerleading ot ocupie my time..prove to my mom that i wasn't depressed and going insane while still in my mind... Friends, yes, but more streeseful than amussing. I had to dela with drama eveyrday if not from 1 but 10 of them everyday. and my life? in a over-all summery, i would say that i have had it pretty fucking hard and for me to give up now, isn't such a bad thing. And for these people who want to kill themselves becaseu there mommy yelled at them for not taking them to the mall, or for not cleaning your room, fuck you guys. I hate all you basturds like that..fuck you all.