(no subject)
i jumped into this too soon. i assumed everything would be fine. well its ridiculous. shes not ready. it's all too fast. i always fucking do this. i always get my hopes up. when something looks like everythings going to be fine i believe it and i let everything else go. dont i feel fucking retarded. i thought i was going to be happy for once. nothings ever going to go right is it. fuck it all. im losing everything. i'm just gona take some more pills and sleep it off. im so done with ever believing that things will be fine. cause every time i believe it, it fucks me in the ass. so im just gona take some more sleeping pills and stay away in my room for a while until i have the strength to be foolish and gullable again. bye.