Can't sleep. So I'm giving a reason why I havn't written in a while.

[tooniceofaguy]

So I sit here in front of my computer and rack my brain for exciting things to tell you. All I keep coming up with is frustration. I am frustrated with myself because I don't have the ability to write an amazing entry and I don't have any strongly held opinions to speak adamantly about. I bet I couldn't even write a four line poem that would be worth reading, and I am definitely not one of those spiritual types who's extremely concerned with the decline of faith and religion, and yet I would still love to be heard.

I wish I were intriguing or brilliant. I wish I were strikingly handsome. Just once I wish I was the best at something. Then I would have something to write about. But in reality I am so boring. My family is nothing close to being normal, wish they were, if there is such a thing.

Even if I did decide to spill my guts, would anyone really care what I had to say? I am just a lowly college student, struggling with grades and friends, worried about things as stupid as my rank in a video-game and as immense as deciding what to do with the rest of my life. Do you really think anyone would stop to read about how truly lonely I get sometimes, or how I did bad on a sociology test?

I want to be different. I want to leave my mark on the world and on the people around me. I want everyone to remember me as an amazing person. But how could that possibly happen if I have absolutely nothing to write about and nothing to tell.