Toothpaste troubles
Some things are as boring as the dust that clings to your TV screen. Sadly, toothpaste is one of those things...
If you happen to be a radical mint enthusiast, brushing your teeth might be the highlight of your day. You might have the shiniest teeth in town. You might not want to interrupt your brushing for dinner ... unless the menu includes mint jelly pâté.
For those of us who use toothpaste for brushing, it is at best bearable. There is obviously collusion at the highest levels of the mint flavor industry to squash our democratic right to a full range of toothpaste flavors.
But what if the Big Mint stranglehold could be broken? What if brushing our teeth could become a custom-designed exhilaration? What if toothpaste came in as many flavors as, say, jelly beans?
I recently tried some new jelly bean flavors and let me tell you the strawberry daiquiri jelly beans tasted delicious! So did the strawberry cheesecake ones. The buttered popcorn ones were so-so, but the caramel popcorn jelly beans were so very yummy! I also tried the chocolate fudge flavor and the chocolate pudding flavor, but I did pass over the chocolate covered grasshopper flavor.
They had three kinds of melon, four flavors of apple and three different toffee flavored jelly beans!
But toothpaste comes in just mint. Only mint!! Honestly, if so many obviously artificial flavors exist why is toothpaste which we all must endure every single day so terribly dull and icky? What sort of massive conspiracy has lead to this monopoly of mintyness?! Every single brand of toothpaste comes without exception in mint! Someone, somewhere, is going to have a lot of explaining to do when I find out why I'm not allowed to brush my teeth with strawberry daiquiri flavored toothpaste!
If you happen to be a radical mint enthusiast, brushing your teeth might be the highlight of your day. You might have the shiniest teeth in town. You might not want to interrupt your brushing for dinner ... unless the menu includes mint jelly pâté.
For those of us who use toothpaste for brushing, it is at best bearable. There is obviously collusion at the highest levels of the mint flavor industry to squash our democratic right to a full range of toothpaste flavors.
But what if the Big Mint stranglehold could be broken? What if brushing our teeth could become a custom-designed exhilaration? What if toothpaste came in as many flavors as, say, jelly beans?
I recently tried some new jelly bean flavors and let me tell you the strawberry daiquiri jelly beans tasted delicious! So did the strawberry cheesecake ones. The buttered popcorn ones were so-so, but the caramel popcorn jelly beans were so very yummy! I also tried the chocolate fudge flavor and the chocolate pudding flavor, but I did pass over the chocolate covered grasshopper flavor.
They had three kinds of melon, four flavors of apple and three different toffee flavored jelly beans!
But toothpaste comes in just mint. Only mint!! Honestly, if so many obviously artificial flavors exist why is toothpaste which we all must endure every single day so terribly dull and icky? What sort of massive conspiracy has lead to this monopoly of mintyness?! Every single brand of toothpaste comes without exception in mint! Someone, somewhere, is going to have a lot of explaining to do when I find out why I'm not allowed to brush my teeth with strawberry daiquiri flavored toothpaste!