h_h application draft
((OOC Notes: Yes, thumbs-up from the muns for R&G. Ophelia here is post-dead; dying smoothed out a lot of the craziness, but she's still occasionally given to inappropriate gigglefits, strong language, bawdy songs, and compulsive flower-picking, especially when stressed. She is based on Kate Winslet's performance in the Branagh film of Hamlet, which also provides the interpretation of the play. Also, anyone who asks why I'm not writing her dialogue in iambic pentameter can shove a copy of the Riverside Shakespeare where the sun doesn't shine. You'll have to be content with my best stab at Elizabethan prose.))
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I do believe 'twas Danbo they served at the old king's funeral; and at the wedding of his brother.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Faith, why should either be killed? Have they done wrong? With what crimes are they charged? Nay, let them not be killed; there has lately been too much of death.
3. What time is it where you are?
My father hath said, that to expostulate why day is day, night night, and time is time, were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I know not who these gentlemen are; and though I did, that is not fit talk for a maiden, nor for a lord or a lady.
*as if not quite aware that she's doing it, hums a few bars of "Watkins Ale"*
"Therefore, good sir,", quoth she, "if you have done with me."
"Nay soft, fair maid," quoth he "again at last.
Let us talk a little while."
With that the maiden began to smile.
And said, "Good sir, full well I know,
Your ale I see runs very low."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
*giggles* Rosemary. *giggles some more*
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*is rather agitated by the question*
Neither; our Harry should marry neither, for men are deceivers and tricksters who woo a maid by pretty words and spurn her at their leisure. My brother, ay, my poor brother was right, though I scoffed at him, he was right. Lend too credent an ear and thou shalt be undone.
*begins mutilating a posy of violets that she's been carrying*
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Have you not a footman, nor functionaries to manage such things?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Useless, forsooth; I am a lady of manners and breeding, though cruelly undone and divided from my fair judgement by one who I thought loved me. I know much of flowers and folklore, and some songs, an it please you.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Will you have a multitude of flowers, perhaps? A psalter? Or I may yet gain a few casks of Rheinish wine.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I do believe 'twas Danbo they served at the old king's funeral; and at the wedding of his brother.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Faith, why should either be killed? Have they done wrong? With what crimes are they charged? Nay, let them not be killed; there has lately been too much of death.
3. What time is it where you are?
My father hath said, that to expostulate why day is day, night night, and time is time, were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I know not who these gentlemen are; and though I did, that is not fit talk for a maiden, nor for a lord or a lady.
*as if not quite aware that she's doing it, hums a few bars of "Watkins Ale"*
"Therefore, good sir,", quoth she, "if you have done with me."
"Nay soft, fair maid," quoth he "again at last.
Let us talk a little while."
With that the maiden began to smile.
And said, "Good sir, full well I know,
Your ale I see runs very low."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
*giggles* Rosemary. *giggles some more*
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*is rather agitated by the question*
Neither; our Harry should marry neither, for men are deceivers and tricksters who woo a maid by pretty words and spurn her at their leisure. My brother, ay, my poor brother was right, though I scoffed at him, he was right. Lend too credent an ear and thou shalt be undone.
*begins mutilating a posy of violets that she's been carrying*
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Have you not a footman, nor functionaries to manage such things?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Useless, forsooth; I am a lady of manners and breeding, though cruelly undone and divided from my fair judgement by one who I thought loved me. I know much of flowers and folklore, and some songs, an it please you.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Will you have a multitude of flowers, perhaps? A psalter? Or I may yet gain a few casks of Rheinish wine.