(no subject)
do you know my news? some of you i have told in a mad giddy rush of words and memories and othertimes i have felt a bit shy. but i promise that the main thing is that i am really, really happy right now.
and everything that he says and does is the opposite to everything i've ever known, and i want to tell him he is weird because i've only ever known bad and mean stuff as being normal. and sometimes i do tell him that but othertimes i just smile
and as much as i don't want sad songs to ever make so much sense again, i'm scared i'll tell him he's weird one day and he won't understand why and realise i'm bad bad bad
but that is only my quietest, darkest voice whispering those things in my head, and mainly i am thinking nothing and feeling quite normal as it is now going to be normal to be happy and looked after. i hope
*
today i also had cups of tea with beth, nicolar and emma, and it was lovely. i want to make it a regular thing!
and everything that he says and does is the opposite to everything i've ever known, and i want to tell him he is weird because i've only ever known bad and mean stuff as being normal. and sometimes i do tell him that but othertimes i just smile
and as much as i don't want sad songs to ever make so much sense again, i'm scared i'll tell him he's weird one day and he won't understand why and realise i'm bad bad bad
but that is only my quietest, darkest voice whispering those things in my head, and mainly i am thinking nothing and feeling quite normal as it is now going to be normal to be happy and looked after. i hope
*
today i also had cups of tea with beth, nicolar and emma, and it was lovely. i want to make it a regular thing!