this is how my heart behaves

[toomanymaps]

i am seeing twice as much in things than before
i hold every nice word in my hands and cup them to my ears like a shell
and i look at the way your trousers are scuffed and the way you roll your sleeves
and i think maybe nobody has ever thought to do something so great because i have never noticed that on anyone before

and i hope maybe you weren't too drunk to forget everything
and i wonder why i wasn't drunk enough to forget too
and why it feels like it is written on my sleeve in permanent marker pen

i like watching you but you might think i am watching someone else
or staring at the floor
or... maybe that i can't look at you for more than a milisecond
because when i catch your eye i look away
and i just look at your feet and watch what every other part of you is doing
and hope that your eyes aren't watching me and catching me

i am glad you haven't told me to my face to leave you alone yet
maybe you know i just like to imagine

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the rain rain making me cry/then the wind comes/fanning my yellow eye/the waves wave wave the waves wave