(no subject)

[toomanymaps]

it does not bode well
for everyone to be apologising to me
because my affections are always misdirected

and my arms feel all useless and
itching to be used
my violin is at tim's house and
i feel like something is missing

and i've not slept in my bed two nights in a row
i must seem awful and desperate
and i wonder if someone can tell that you are awake
and waiting to see what happens
or if i smiled when the cover fell down on me

or if anyone realises that i like being at their house
and sleeping in the same room as friends
because now i am sat on my bed in my coat and scarf
listening to music that feels like little heavy weights
pulling down on me

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3mins onwards is so sad
i had to play this two days after i broke up with my ex for the first time
i was so terribly sad, and the whole movement is supposed to be about
lost love and all that
i feel a bit stupid now though, he wasn't worth the sadness of that piece at all

there are things i want to say but i can't
but apparently everyone can guess how i feel anyway
but they didn't guess for a long time, i'm certain
and now there is nothing left to guess
i don't even get a turn