"I have nothing to say..."
Tonight I had an inciteful(and undeniably remorseless, despite the flurry of her fabricated tears and feigned I love yous) conversation with Tammy. I received no absolution as to why I should forgive her or if she even wanted my forgiveness, I didn't even find out why she did it. She couldn't answer anything, the only discernable justification I received was, "I felt like trying something new..."
Well, Ms.Ho, how do you like the new thing? Isn't it nice? Isn't it wonderful having your heart(or whatever pumping vessel keeps you alive) ripped out of your chest and presented to you? Isn't infidelity wonderful? I love it, I do, because you know why? I realized exactly what kind of person you really are. A terrible person? No? A remorseful person? No. A compassionate caring person? Heh, not at all! What you really are is a confused person, because you have had no love in your life, therefore you don't know how to give it. I loved you, with every morsel of my being I loved you. With every pulsating facet of my existence did I love you. I treated you like no other human being(and this supercedes family) ever treated in your entire life. Ever. No one ever gave you the respect I thought you deserved.
"What am I going to tell Chris?"
That what was she was thinking about whilst she was cheating on me. Well the answer to that is evident, nothing. You weren't going to tell me anything. I don't care when you were "eventually" going to come out about it, it wasn't going to happen. Ever. I don't trust you, so why should I trust that bullshit. I got fucking played...bad.
Nobody deserves that, even her indignant new man, even he doesn't deserve that. Why I deserved it is beyond me! I mean I offered you the world on a silver fucking platter, every facet of my being was devoted to giving you something that you so sorely needed. You needed love, and I was there to give it to you. I gave you my love, all of it, all of my undying devotion. Completely unrequited love, and what did you do to it? When this pristine opportunity was presented to you, you shit all over it. You defile it and soil and you have no one to blame but yourself. Don't dump anymore shit on me, because I have dealt with enough of precocious teenage high school melodrama, this is you. Nobody to blame but you.
My friends, do not hate her. Hate is such a strong emotion, she made a mistake. We all make mistakes, but at least we can honestly assess them. She doesn't deserve hate, she deserves pity. I pity you, whole heartedly. As everyone should pity you. Maybe under that deceitful, repugnant detestable exterior, I believe a wonderful person exist. You are a gravely misdirected person, you have nothing to show for youself but broken hearts and a job you hate. A new boyfriend who will never show you the love that I did. A new boyfriend who wasn't your prom date, or your high school sweetheart. A new boyfriend who didn't let you into his house after your father beat you. That is what you have to show for yourself, that is why I pity you, because you have nothing. I sure hope you found out how fruitful living in the moment can be! One moment you had everything and in the next you lost it.
I also pity you because when all collapses upon itself and a cataclysmic event renders you useless, someone who you could once pour your heart into won't be there. One day I hope we can reconcile, when I find a girl who is more beautiful on the inside then you ever were, whos attractive exterior perfectly matches her impecible interior and you realize what you have lost, I hope to maybe be a small aquaintence you can call when you need to swap tax insurace advice. Because you mean about as much to me as everything I have displayed apathy and utter discontent towards.
Can I still get those Radiohead tickets? I really want to go and revel in what a wonderful time I could have had enjoying something so special with someone I thought was teh world. Just a thought.
Anyway, enjoy your life. Find some god damn direction and find Jesus or something, fuck. Gain some honesty, I hope everything in your life is as bountiful as this relationship has been.
Redacted and disgusted,
Chris
P.S: "I have nothing to say.." This is me, Tammy and my precocious and utterly ignoble way of handling a problem...blocking it out.
"It is easy to give peace of mind, but the heart is not so easily divided." -Frammy.
I've got to take my life back
One chance to make it right
I've gotta have my voice be heard
And bring meaning to this life
Cause I trusted for nothing
I've been led astray
I've been tried and trusted
But i won't accept defeat
Now I've done things I regret
And it's time to reverse the rolls
I just want to make good on the promise that I have made
Well, Ms.Ho, how do you like the new thing? Isn't it nice? Isn't it wonderful having your heart(or whatever pumping vessel keeps you alive) ripped out of your chest and presented to you? Isn't infidelity wonderful? I love it, I do, because you know why? I realized exactly what kind of person you really are. A terrible person? No? A remorseful person? No. A compassionate caring person? Heh, not at all! What you really are is a confused person, because you have had no love in your life, therefore you don't know how to give it. I loved you, with every morsel of my being I loved you. With every pulsating facet of my existence did I love you. I treated you like no other human being(and this supercedes family) ever treated in your entire life. Ever. No one ever gave you the respect I thought you deserved.
"What am I going to tell Chris?"
That what was she was thinking about whilst she was cheating on me. Well the answer to that is evident, nothing. You weren't going to tell me anything. I don't care when you were "eventually" going to come out about it, it wasn't going to happen. Ever. I don't trust you, so why should I trust that bullshit. I got fucking played...bad.
Nobody deserves that, even her indignant new man, even he doesn't deserve that. Why I deserved it is beyond me! I mean I offered you the world on a silver fucking platter, every facet of my being was devoted to giving you something that you so sorely needed. You needed love, and I was there to give it to you. I gave you my love, all of it, all of my undying devotion. Completely unrequited love, and what did you do to it? When this pristine opportunity was presented to you, you shit all over it. You defile it and soil and you have no one to blame but yourself. Don't dump anymore shit on me, because I have dealt with enough of precocious teenage high school melodrama, this is you. Nobody to blame but you.
My friends, do not hate her. Hate is such a strong emotion, she made a mistake. We all make mistakes, but at least we can honestly assess them. She doesn't deserve hate, she deserves pity. I pity you, whole heartedly. As everyone should pity you. Maybe under that deceitful, repugnant detestable exterior, I believe a wonderful person exist. You are a gravely misdirected person, you have nothing to show for youself but broken hearts and a job you hate. A new boyfriend who will never show you the love that I did. A new boyfriend who wasn't your prom date, or your high school sweetheart. A new boyfriend who didn't let you into his house after your father beat you. That is what you have to show for yourself, that is why I pity you, because you have nothing. I sure hope you found out how fruitful living in the moment can be! One moment you had everything and in the next you lost it.
I also pity you because when all collapses upon itself and a cataclysmic event renders you useless, someone who you could once pour your heart into won't be there. One day I hope we can reconcile, when I find a girl who is more beautiful on the inside then you ever were, whos attractive exterior perfectly matches her impecible interior and you realize what you have lost, I hope to maybe be a small aquaintence you can call when you need to swap tax insurace advice. Because you mean about as much to me as everything I have displayed apathy and utter discontent towards.
Can I still get those Radiohead tickets? I really want to go and revel in what a wonderful time I could have had enjoying something so special with someone I thought was teh world. Just a thought.
Anyway, enjoy your life. Find some god damn direction and find Jesus or something, fuck. Gain some honesty, I hope everything in your life is as bountiful as this relationship has been.
Redacted and disgusted,
Chris
P.S: "I have nothing to say.." This is me, Tammy and my precocious and utterly ignoble way of handling a problem...blocking it out.
"It is easy to give peace of mind, but the heart is not so easily divided." -Frammy.
I've got to take my life back
One chance to make it right
I've gotta have my voice be heard
And bring meaning to this life
Cause I trusted for nothing
I've been led astray
I've been tried and trusted
But i won't accept defeat
Now I've done things I regret
And it's time to reverse the rolls
I just want to make good on the promise that I have made