Opeth
So,I was just jamming with opeth's devilverance, and I felt really good about it, like i'm still progressing as a guitar player, which is good, i'm on a guitar high right now. went to that show, saw nicole, and I guess brandon knows her too, swicked. it all sucked, like I thought it would. One of the bands actually did a cover of lamb of gods' 11th hour, and they butchured it, it was sad. but yeah, I forgot to call my probation officer today, it scares me, i'm afraid any slip up at all is going to land me in jail....but, like lindsay said, there are worse people that get off easier than I do, so i'll probably be fine, plus I can say I didn't know the place would be open on a sunday, still, pretty scared. wow, can't express my love for playing that damn guit-box, it's like fucking, except the only juices are sweat, and in some cases, saliva. so technically in my mind i've fucked justin, brandon AND mikey...haha...yeah..........
man, my mind always wants to go to issues in my life like where i'm going and where I am, but what I really want to type up are things about my day, more things that describe myself, stuff like that...but every time, almost, it's me worrying about my future, where I could go, jail, streets, rockstar, those are the three big things, and of course, the only one appealing to me (and really to anyone) is rockstar....As many times as I say I want to get out of this only explains my distaste for what i'm doing, instead of taking action, but in school, the doing is not a problem, as my pace has increased to rediculous speed.....but, FAFSA and my probation are not going as well, not going well at all.....at first I felt like my probation was over because I completed my community service, but that was only the biggest part, I still need to send in another fucking $65 to the court house because they didn't receive any money to give to meijer....that's it though, that's their fuck-up, and if they were paying attention, it wouldn't have slipped by them, so when I get that money, i'm going directly to mr kellers fucking desk and handing it to him personally, because that's just fucking stupid. quite the number of F-bombs in that one sentence, only describes my distaste once again.
I got scared a few days ago that steph didn't want me anymore, because, well, she didn't. I'm not interesting enough, I don't do things guys usually do, like valentines day. And since I have no money, I'm not able to take her to a movie, well I know what I can do without money when she gets back, but I'm not typing it here, as she might be reading this right now. you know what, I WANTED to get away from michelle, I WANTED to get away from johanna, even a hint of steph leaving me actually got me scared.....goddamn I actually love her, this is something I promised myself i'd never do, as once so elequently put by one of my favorite characters in a very good story....."If I never care, I can never get hurt, with no connections, I can rely on myself, when I die, I can be at peace", no one knows what that's from and I gaurentee it. i'll give you $5 if you guess it right.
anyways, listening to more opeth of course, Opeth, Tool, and NIN always do that to me, usually Tool, but this specific song from Opeth "By The Pain I See In Others", at about 5:03 on the time lapsed, it's this beautiful sounding..carnival, as stephy put it, and now that she says that it really does....I'm gonna post the lyrics to that section, it'll finish off the entry, laters
Outside in the park, the days move along
But nothing ever changes
They have nothing on us
And we've always known
That nothing ever changes
man, my mind always wants to go to issues in my life like where i'm going and where I am, but what I really want to type up are things about my day, more things that describe myself, stuff like that...but every time, almost, it's me worrying about my future, where I could go, jail, streets, rockstar, those are the three big things, and of course, the only one appealing to me (and really to anyone) is rockstar....As many times as I say I want to get out of this only explains my distaste for what i'm doing, instead of taking action, but in school, the doing is not a problem, as my pace has increased to rediculous speed.....but, FAFSA and my probation are not going as well, not going well at all.....at first I felt like my probation was over because I completed my community service, but that was only the biggest part, I still need to send in another fucking $65 to the court house because they didn't receive any money to give to meijer....that's it though, that's their fuck-up, and if they were paying attention, it wouldn't have slipped by them, so when I get that money, i'm going directly to mr kellers fucking desk and handing it to him personally, because that's just fucking stupid. quite the number of F-bombs in that one sentence, only describes my distaste once again.
I got scared a few days ago that steph didn't want me anymore, because, well, she didn't. I'm not interesting enough, I don't do things guys usually do, like valentines day. And since I have no money, I'm not able to take her to a movie, well I know what I can do without money when she gets back, but I'm not typing it here, as she might be reading this right now. you know what, I WANTED to get away from michelle, I WANTED to get away from johanna, even a hint of steph leaving me actually got me scared.....goddamn I actually love her, this is something I promised myself i'd never do, as once so elequently put by one of my favorite characters in a very good story....."If I never care, I can never get hurt, with no connections, I can rely on myself, when I die, I can be at peace", no one knows what that's from and I gaurentee it. i'll give you $5 if you guess it right.
anyways, listening to more opeth of course, Opeth, Tool, and NIN always do that to me, usually Tool, but this specific song from Opeth "By The Pain I See In Others", at about 5:03 on the time lapsed, it's this beautiful sounding..carnival, as stephy put it, and now that she says that it really does....I'm gonna post the lyrics to that section, it'll finish off the entry, laters
Outside in the park, the days move along
But nothing ever changes
They have nothing on us
And we've always known
That nothing ever changes