(no subject)
I just wrote about this on my Myspace blog, but I kinda get obsessed over shit like this.
Austin, the boy I went out with for like, who knows how long, because our relationship consisted of me being completely infatuated with him and him, completely ignoring me and not acknowledging me for a good portion of the time. This was a time in my life when I didn't really see things as they were...I was blinded by my lack of self-respect, and a need to be loved by this boy.
But enough of the bad stuff, when things were good, they were great. If there was ever a relationship where I felt like progress was made, this was it. I never thought he was gonna open up or let me in, or whatever cliche remark is left. But it happened- briefly. It was a constant struggle with this boy. Everytime things were going well, he pulled away and hid. It made me work harder and harder each and every time. I don't know if it was the feeling of being rejected that made me try and try again, or if it was because he was the most beautiful boy in the world to me. There was something about him that made me want more. He's an amazing artist. I envied him. He was quiet, and never let his gaurd down. It was like, I wanted to teach him how to love again. Teach him to love me.
It's hard to talk about our relationship, because I can't really remember much. There was a lot more bad than good, but for some reason it seemed worth it to me.
Things ended badly with us. My relationships always end in tears. There was always a betrayal factor which completely emaciated my relationships. I can't say that I had nothing to do with it as well. Whenever I come across picture of us, we both look happy. And I never get disgusted, not like the other ones. He's too beautiful.
Well anyway, he contacted me, and said one of the nicest most genuine things to me. He commended me on getting the hell out of Michigan and going to columbia, and he wished me luck on my life and everything. It was amazing. It just seems so out of character for him, but it was the best email I have read in months.
Austin, the boy I went out with for like, who knows how long, because our relationship consisted of me being completely infatuated with him and him, completely ignoring me and not acknowledging me for a good portion of the time. This was a time in my life when I didn't really see things as they were...I was blinded by my lack of self-respect, and a need to be loved by this boy.
But enough of the bad stuff, when things were good, they were great. If there was ever a relationship where I felt like progress was made, this was it. I never thought he was gonna open up or let me in, or whatever cliche remark is left. But it happened- briefly. It was a constant struggle with this boy. Everytime things were going well, he pulled away and hid. It made me work harder and harder each and every time. I don't know if it was the feeling of being rejected that made me try and try again, or if it was because he was the most beautiful boy in the world to me. There was something about him that made me want more. He's an amazing artist. I envied him. He was quiet, and never let his gaurd down. It was like, I wanted to teach him how to love again. Teach him to love me.
It's hard to talk about our relationship, because I can't really remember much. There was a lot more bad than good, but for some reason it seemed worth it to me.
Things ended badly with us. My relationships always end in tears. There was always a betrayal factor which completely emaciated my relationships. I can't say that I had nothing to do with it as well. Whenever I come across picture of us, we both look happy. And I never get disgusted, not like the other ones. He's too beautiful.
Well anyway, he contacted me, and said one of the nicest most genuine things to me. He commended me on getting the hell out of Michigan and going to columbia, and he wished me luck on my life and everything. It was amazing. It just seems so out of character for him, but it was the best email I have read in months.