(no subject)
I have been hurt by the people closest to me time and time again and yet I keep letting people in. I have now been screwed over by ever guy I have ever been with. The only one of my ex's who hasn't gone out with one of my best friends directly after me is Nick and he broke my heart much worse than any of the others. I've had all my best friends stab me in the back in one or more ways, the worst being the person I let in more than anyone else. And yet I keep on trusting and I don't know why. I don't regret being with Charlie because he was who really allowed me to get over the past and realize I would find other people to love in my life. Maybe eventually I'll be able to re-create our friendship but for now I have to exclude him from my life. Barb on the other hand is a dumb slutty bitch and there is nothing in the world that would make me be friends with her again. The fact that she couldn't wait more than a fucking day to start shit goes to show she never intended to keep her promise to me. I've decided not to let myself get to the point of vulnerability with that many people here. I've got Morgan and Wendy as my best girl friends and besides them I'm gonna stick to guys cause they're so much simpler to be friends with. I love Sean and Kamal. Nat and Mat are players but I love them. I don't care what Morgan say I really like J.P. and I love Ryan but he makes no sense to me. I need to actually go hang out with all the guys I've met in the elevator who told us to stop by sometime.