(no subject)
I hate that I can't handle the most meaningful frienship I have. You never think about anyone but yourself, or atleast you never think of me. You make me feel so fucking alienated and I don't know how to be okay with that any longer, not that I ever have been. You made me into the bad friend. You made into the one who didn't give a fuck about you and compared you to everyone else. You put us in the position to not talk for almost two months and yet I was the one miserable during that time. It never seemed to phase you, and the fact that your constantly letting me down never seems to phase you. It is so fucking difficult to best friends with you and yet you don't even see that. When it's just us we have a blast, but one there's anyone else there it's like I don't exist. Your always doing shit that you know will upset me and yet instead of talking to me about it you tell everyone else that you hope I don't care and let me find out when it's too late. You have made me feel like an outsider in Theatre and that's the one place that I never expected to feel uncomfortable. You did this to me last Lenaea but I thought this year would be different cause you wouldn't be consumed by him. Not only did you ditch me all three days, even at night you barely talked to me. We always said the people who drove in cars were stupid and that we would always go on the bus, especially this year cause it was our last trip, and yet when we all gather to go home I find out that you and just about the rest of theatre decided to go home in cars and of course get a phone call at 10 saying that I should find someone else to drive me home. I can't fucking stand you and yet you're my best friend. I just don't know what to do cause I don't want me to keep building up resentment toward you but I don't want to spend our last few months together fighting either...