(no subject)
i've decided to start writing down Tony Huver's drunken voicemails. These are the latest two from the other night when he was partying in Grand Rapids with some friends of his.
Approximately 11:00pm:
"Jordan Bach, it's Tony Huver. Um, i don't know what time it is, probly like nine in the morning, i don't fuckin' know, stop tryin' to judge me you fuckin' homo. Bottom line, the chick i was supposed to meet tonight had a man face. She had a man face. And her jaw was more square than a fuckin' right angle. You know what i say about that? That's bullshit. Bullshit. So Jordan Bach, give me a call back, unless you're having sex with that chick then, you know, i love you forever. XOXO Tony."
Approximately 1:00am:
"Jordan Bach you sonovabitch! I have no idea why you're not answering my fuckin' phone call! i really hope you're having sex with that chick you told me about earlier. Um, and if you are, we made an agreement that you would open your phone so i could listen. You know? You know, i don't, i don't know why you're not opening your phone call... you fuckin' asshole. You know, as far as i'm concerned, we're not friends anymore. We're not! Ok, i'm joking, i love you, ok? So anyway, i'm just calling to tell you that i'm drunk and that i was introduced to Manface tonight. And probly whats going to happen is i'm going to have to pay like ten bucks to sleep on this dude's couch. Ten! (Someone speaking in the background) Jake's home! So you know, you should give me a call back. Hugs and kisses, XOXO Tony."
Approximately 11:00pm:
"Jordan Bach, it's Tony Huver. Um, i don't know what time it is, probly like nine in the morning, i don't fuckin' know, stop tryin' to judge me you fuckin' homo. Bottom line, the chick i was supposed to meet tonight had a man face. She had a man face. And her jaw was more square than a fuckin' right angle. You know what i say about that? That's bullshit. Bullshit. So Jordan Bach, give me a call back, unless you're having sex with that chick then, you know, i love you forever. XOXO Tony."
Approximately 1:00am:
"Jordan Bach you sonovabitch! I have no idea why you're not answering my fuckin' phone call! i really hope you're having sex with that chick you told me about earlier. Um, and if you are, we made an agreement that you would open your phone so i could listen. You know? You know, i don't, i don't know why you're not opening your phone call... you fuckin' asshole. You know, as far as i'm concerned, we're not friends anymore. We're not! Ok, i'm joking, i love you, ok? So anyway, i'm just calling to tell you that i'm drunk and that i was introduced to Manface tonight. And probly whats going to happen is i'm going to have to pay like ten bucks to sleep on this dude's couch. Ten! (Someone speaking in the background) Jake's home! So you know, you should give me a call back. Hugs and kisses, XOXO Tony."