Anxiety Troubles
I have a pretty raging anxiety disorder and when things get stressful, I suffer from either:
1. Crazy, bad, intense Nervous Diarrhea OR
2. Horrible, nightmare-grade constipation.
There is no happy medium.
Back in September, I was walking to work. It is about a 3 mile walk over varied terrain. When I left my house I noticed clouds gathering but they seemed far away and any storms were not in the forecast. About a quarter of a mile in, the wind picked up and rain started to pelt me. Whatever. I continued on, and got to a bridge that went over railroad tracks. The clouds had turned dark at this point and thunder was rolling. But it seemed far away. I checked my phone and needed to press on to make it to work on time. I stepped on to the concrete and metal bridge, which was about .23 of a mile across, walking as fast as I could. The storm looked far away. I turned up the volume on This American Life, praying I'd scurry across ok. I was about a quarter of the way across when a HUGE-ASS BOLT OF FUCKING LIGHTNING lit up in front of me. I do not know how it missed the bridge. At that moment, I knew that I fucked up big time risking going on there anyway, I caught my breath, and RAN. RAN LIKE HELL. I started running at full-tilt as soon as the thunder started to crack. And it cracked, hard. I felt it in my bones.
I made it across that damn bridge, made it to work in heavy rain and ducked into the first bathroom I could find. I had terrible, loud, painful nervous poop. So bad. I thought I was going to barf at the same time! I went to wipe and....NO TOILET PAPER. NONE.
I shimmied my ass SO HARD. Then I tossed my backpack out of the stall and waddled to the next one to wipe my shameful ass. Perhaps that was my karma for poorly handling the lightning on a metal bridge about metal train tracks.
AND NOW:
I skipped out on going with my husband to his family's Christmas (self care!) but I still felt real bad about it and I have been STOPPED UP for......4 days now. I have consumed coffee, special poop tea, water, fiber and went for a walk and still no dice.
CURSES!!!
1. Crazy, bad, intense Nervous Diarrhea OR
2. Horrible, nightmare-grade constipation.
There is no happy medium.
Back in September, I was walking to work. It is about a 3 mile walk over varied terrain. When I left my house I noticed clouds gathering but they seemed far away and any storms were not in the forecast. About a quarter of a mile in, the wind picked up and rain started to pelt me. Whatever. I continued on, and got to a bridge that went over railroad tracks. The clouds had turned dark at this point and thunder was rolling. But it seemed far away. I checked my phone and needed to press on to make it to work on time. I stepped on to the concrete and metal bridge, which was about .23 of a mile across, walking as fast as I could. The storm looked far away. I turned up the volume on This American Life, praying I'd scurry across ok. I was about a quarter of the way across when a HUGE-ASS BOLT OF FUCKING LIGHTNING lit up in front of me. I do not know how it missed the bridge. At that moment, I knew that I fucked up big time risking going on there anyway, I caught my breath, and RAN. RAN LIKE HELL. I started running at full-tilt as soon as the thunder started to crack. And it cracked, hard. I felt it in my bones.
I made it across that damn bridge, made it to work in heavy rain and ducked into the first bathroom I could find. I had terrible, loud, painful nervous poop. So bad. I thought I was going to barf at the same time! I went to wipe and....NO TOILET PAPER. NONE.
I shimmied my ass SO HARD. Then I tossed my backpack out of the stall and waddled to the next one to wipe my shameful ass. Perhaps that was my karma for poorly handling the lightning on a metal bridge about metal train tracks.
AND NOW:
I skipped out on going with my husband to his family's Christmas (self care!) but I still felt real bad about it and I have been STOPPED UP for......4 days now. I have consumed coffee, special poop tea, water, fiber and went for a walk and still no dice.
CURSES!!!