Over-reacting
Yesterday I did something I regret at work. After talking to Isabel I do believe that it was for good reason, but I still believe strongly that it was the wrong way to respond. Very wrong. And now I'm torn about if I should call my manager to let her know or not because I'm worried I'll get in trouble for it.
Some girl or girls started trying my patience, and I always believed I had a lot of that. I asked them nicely to stop talking and just get to work cuz it was getting late and we all wanted to go home. I mean why should they have all the fun if other girls were silently working their butts off to get out? I say this every night and every night it happens but people work faster or at least don't talk as loudly.
Well last night people started talking louder and more people started talking after I said it. Like 10 times. I started to think, does anyone at this store listen to a word I say or am I just some broken record that holds keys and a title that means absolutely nothing? Then I snapped. I screamed something about shutting up and getting shit done and a little while after that I dropped some jewelry over the counter on the ground that I asked them like five times to clean up and it was still there. Some people might say I threw it but I just dropped it over the high counter.
After that everyone was silent and finished, but I felt like a monster. In the three years I've worked at Forever 21 I have never snapped like that. But I'm tired of feeling like a doormat.
I talked to Isabel about it last night and came to the realization that instead of asking people to do things as a group I need to talk to individuals. It's more respectful of them and gives more accountability.
I also came to the realization that I don't do so well in groups, actually I never have. I tend to rigidly take charge and make things happen, or I become a doormat because I believe that if you treat people with great respect they will treat you the same. Maybe I would be better off as some kind of social worker or counsellor than a teacher. One-on-one, you know?
Some girl or girls started trying my patience, and I always believed I had a lot of that. I asked them nicely to stop talking and just get to work cuz it was getting late and we all wanted to go home. I mean why should they have all the fun if other girls were silently working their butts off to get out? I say this every night and every night it happens but people work faster or at least don't talk as loudly.
Well last night people started talking louder and more people started talking after I said it. Like 10 times. I started to think, does anyone at this store listen to a word I say or am I just some broken record that holds keys and a title that means absolutely nothing? Then I snapped. I screamed something about shutting up and getting shit done and a little while after that I dropped some jewelry over the counter on the ground that I asked them like five times to clean up and it was still there. Some people might say I threw it but I just dropped it over the high counter.
After that everyone was silent and finished, but I felt like a monster. In the three years I've worked at Forever 21 I have never snapped like that. But I'm tired of feeling like a doormat.
I talked to Isabel about it last night and came to the realization that instead of asking people to do things as a group I need to talk to individuals. It's more respectful of them and gives more accountability.
I also came to the realization that I don't do so well in groups, actually I never have. I tend to rigidly take charge and make things happen, or I become a doormat because I believe that if you treat people with great respect they will treat you the same. Maybe I would be better off as some kind of social worker or counsellor than a teacher. One-on-one, you know?