(no subject)
I read the convo between Jacob and Janay earlier today cause I was in Janay's journal logged in or whatever. I knew I probably shouldn't have but yeah. I did. when I finished I definetly wish I wouldnt have clicked that link cause....yeah. It's not even like it caught me by surprise I guess. but. hmm..whatever I dunno. I went to take a shower and I couldn't stop crying. looking at myself in the mirror and etc. I dunno what's wrong with me. besides the fact that I'm PMSing..blah..I still feel..ugh..I dunno..worthless I suppose would be the term.
I'm not gon make no assumptions because I trust him or whatever. But I'm selfish and etc. and I don't feel like I'm getting everything that I should be. or maybe it's not even that. maybe I am just that. SELFISH. and things are definetely different. I dont handle change easily.
I'm not gonna directly quote what it is the convo said to upset me. but..whatever there was some shit said that made me question what exactly it is he's trying to accomplish by having me here. I know if I was doing the equivalent of what he's doing or what he said. then I would have been the first to get dropped on my ass like it wasnt no thing. especially to say some shit like that to a friend of mine. wow. push your luck.
I was talking to Brandon earlier. and he brought up some interesting points. I don't know what goes through his head. Or I dunno what to think anymore. I feel like he thinks he can do whatever he wants and I'm still gonna be here. and if so. i dunno...blah. last week changed all of that. and it certainly wouldnt be the case any longer.
fuck the bullshit.
I'm leavin to tennessee in a lil while.
I'll be back im guessin tuesday or wednesday.
love you slaughters.
be safe through the hurricane.
I'm not gon make no assumptions because I trust him or whatever. But I'm selfish and etc. and I don't feel like I'm getting everything that I should be. or maybe it's not even that. maybe I am just that. SELFISH. and things are definetely different. I dont handle change easily.
I'm not gonna directly quote what it is the convo said to upset me. but..whatever there was some shit said that made me question what exactly it is he's trying to accomplish by having me here. I know if I was doing the equivalent of what he's doing or what he said. then I would have been the first to get dropped on my ass like it wasnt no thing. especially to say some shit like that to a friend of mine. wow. push your luck.
I was talking to Brandon earlier. and he brought up some interesting points. I don't know what goes through his head. Or I dunno what to think anymore. I feel like he thinks he can do whatever he wants and I'm still gonna be here. and if so. i dunno...blah. last week changed all of that. and it certainly wouldnt be the case any longer.
fuck the bullshit.
I'm leavin to tennessee in a lil while.
I'll be back im guessin tuesday or wednesday.
love you slaughters.
be safe through the hurricane.