(no subject)
yesterday i cried
i dont know how because lately i have not been able to shed a tear, but after i found out that i would not be able to see my boyfriend for another two months on account of him being in jail.and he had his court yesterday and they did not let him out. it made me more mad then any thing. i didnt know what to think because i had so many thoughts running through my head. im so comfused about life that i dont know what to do any more. either im contint or im really unhappy. im only happy when Ben is around or when i get to talk to him. i never realized that i needed him so much untill he was gone but he was my only way to vent besides cutting (which i havent done in about eight months) and now i hold in every thing. every day i would talk to Ben on the phone and i would tell him about my day, what stresses me out, and what would make me unhappy.but all that was smashed. and now im back to square one or it might be two. he lives in his letters from the correctional facility. and i breath in all i can get. what can i say its been a while. . .
i dont know how because lately i have not been able to shed a tear, but after i found out that i would not be able to see my boyfriend for another two months on account of him being in jail.and he had his court yesterday and they did not let him out. it made me more mad then any thing. i didnt know what to think because i had so many thoughts running through my head. im so comfused about life that i dont know what to do any more. either im contint or im really unhappy. im only happy when Ben is around or when i get to talk to him. i never realized that i needed him so much untill he was gone but he was my only way to vent besides cutting (which i havent done in about eight months) and now i hold in every thing. every day i would talk to Ben on the phone and i would tell him about my day, what stresses me out, and what would make me unhappy.but all that was smashed. and now im back to square one or it might be two. he lives in his letters from the correctional facility. and i breath in all i can get. what can i say its been a while. . .