((about australia))
I've been listening to enough Wu-Tang Clan to have it seriously affect my sanity. When there's no music or conversation around me, my mind simply fills in the gaps with the lyrics of "Run". But Justin has been listening to "Nothing Better" a lot lately, and because i often get hooked on what Justin gets hooked on (thus starting the Wu-Tang obsession in the first place) i immediately dug out my Postal Service collection and before i even knew what i was doing, i find myself supplementing the melancholy i'd nearly forgotten made up my entire musical intake. Somehow, i'm back on a steady diet of Rites of Spring and Songs: Ohia and back to convincing myself all these morbid words are my unalienable reality.
And i've realized (again) i really miss having someone to waste my days with. Wasting the days alone is pretty lousy because it's so incredibly boring. There's no way of convincing yourself that you're actually doing anything. When you waste a day with someone else you forget that you're even wasting it. It feels like you're doing something worth doing, even when you're just lying around. Lying around without someone next to me is thoroughly depressing, but it's like i don't even know what else there is to do anymore.
I think i should get a job. It would fill up those spaces when i can't remember what it is people do to occupy the time, and not having money makes me feel like i'm missing out a lot. Keeping the gas take full always takes priority over other things that would more than likely increase the percentage of happiness in my mind, and my mind needs a healthy dosage of happiness occasionally.
Somewhere in the past week i've decided my new dream job is being the director of photography in good indie films (and the occasional big budget action movie). I say my "new" dream job because i've had previous dream jobs that just didn't work out. But i like this one. I've always been interested in the cinematography of movies, often more than the plot itself. And after seeing Apocalypse Now, i'm reassured that cinematography really is the most important part of film.
I'm going to Austin this friday. We're driving there, this time. I'm not really sure what the motivation is for that, except that we can take Nanna (my dog) and Thanksgiving is the busiest time for airlines and all that. I think it'll be a lot of fun, though. Traveling across the country, exploring in the day time, and driving for hours and hours at night with good music keeping me company.
I'm pretty anxious to get away, too. I feel like i really need a week to get everything currently residing over my head off my mind. It'll be waiting for me when i come back, of course, but at least for a week i'll be free of all those sacrosanct worries that've attached themselves to me. And i'll get to eat some real mexican food again.
Speaking of things on my mind, i've started writing poetry again. I keep it (the new stuff) in a folder on my computer called "About Australia".
And i've realized (again) i really miss having someone to waste my days with. Wasting the days alone is pretty lousy because it's so incredibly boring. There's no way of convincing yourself that you're actually doing anything. When you waste a day with someone else you forget that you're even wasting it. It feels like you're doing something worth doing, even when you're just lying around. Lying around without someone next to me is thoroughly depressing, but it's like i don't even know what else there is to do anymore.
I think i should get a job. It would fill up those spaces when i can't remember what it is people do to occupy the time, and not having money makes me feel like i'm missing out a lot. Keeping the gas take full always takes priority over other things that would more than likely increase the percentage of happiness in my mind, and my mind needs a healthy dosage of happiness occasionally.
Somewhere in the past week i've decided my new dream job is being the director of photography in good indie films (and the occasional big budget action movie). I say my "new" dream job because i've had previous dream jobs that just didn't work out. But i like this one. I've always been interested in the cinematography of movies, often more than the plot itself. And after seeing Apocalypse Now, i'm reassured that cinematography really is the most important part of film.
I'm going to Austin this friday. We're driving there, this time. I'm not really sure what the motivation is for that, except that we can take Nanna (my dog) and Thanksgiving is the busiest time for airlines and all that. I think it'll be a lot of fun, though. Traveling across the country, exploring in the day time, and driving for hours and hours at night with good music keeping me company.
I'm pretty anxious to get away, too. I feel like i really need a week to get everything currently residing over my head off my mind. It'll be waiting for me when i come back, of course, but at least for a week i'll be free of all those sacrosanct worries that've attached themselves to me. And i'll get to eat some real mexican food again.
Speaking of things on my mind, i've started writing poetry again. I keep it (the new stuff) in a folder on my computer called "About Australia".