(no subject)

[tonyceratops]

the anxiety that something so great is unrealistic takes over.
paranoia, order, control, fear.
fuck you, stay out of my life.
i'm afraid my shortcomings will eventually lead to disintegrating everything.
more so, just the thought of it terrifies me.
an endless cycle of scare tactics triggered by my own pessimism.
in turn, that scare is a dangerous tool of destruction.
i shouldn't be so cautious, when there's no peril, but i cant stop.
this is a narrow golden path, and there is no room for egos.
just two people holding hands.

i never want these feelings to end.
ever.
if they do, i will be broken.

i love him so much.