(no subject)
ok this is my last post,
so im really uneasy about everything lately. i dont know whats wrong and whats right. im trying to get myself on track but it seems every step forward results in 2 steps backwards. went from having a nice job w/ a platinum credit card to quitting on the spot one day for, now that i think about it, no reason at all. started dating kelsey like a week ago, and it seemed like for that week, i was just really confused. like, i thought it was nice that we both did our own things, but still managed to see each other and talk to each other, but i mean, i quit my job so i can hang out with her more, and she makes no effort to do anything. all last week it was the same thing:
me: "are you doing anything tonight?"
kelsey: "yeah im going to this kids house and we are getting trashed and shit." ....always "this kids house" she could never just tell me who, like it was going to matter anyway.
but i mean, when we did see each other it was different, i was happy. it was probably the happiest ive been for a week than ive been in a long time, and that is true. losing my job and shit though, that just made me, not so much mad, but like, annoyed. because now it was like this: i had no job, no way to pay off my bills, no money to spend just to spend, no car, i felt like a bum. and it was rediculous. the only thing i was doing that was good was the fact im still in school. i think im going to go to fresnos today and appologize to them and see if they are willing to take me back, and if they dont im fucked. i really dont know what to do. right now though im waiting for josh and mikey, and then i can peace the fuck out of occ for today.
so im really uneasy about everything lately. i dont know whats wrong and whats right. im trying to get myself on track but it seems every step forward results in 2 steps backwards. went from having a nice job w/ a platinum credit card to quitting on the spot one day for, now that i think about it, no reason at all. started dating kelsey like a week ago, and it seemed like for that week, i was just really confused. like, i thought it was nice that we both did our own things, but still managed to see each other and talk to each other, but i mean, i quit my job so i can hang out with her more, and she makes no effort to do anything. all last week it was the same thing:
me: "are you doing anything tonight?"
kelsey: "yeah im going to this kids house and we are getting trashed and shit." ....always "this kids house" she could never just tell me who, like it was going to matter anyway.
but i mean, when we did see each other it was different, i was happy. it was probably the happiest ive been for a week than ive been in a long time, and that is true. losing my job and shit though, that just made me, not so much mad, but like, annoyed. because now it was like this: i had no job, no way to pay off my bills, no money to spend just to spend, no car, i felt like a bum. and it was rediculous. the only thing i was doing that was good was the fact im still in school. i think im going to go to fresnos today and appologize to them and see if they are willing to take me back, and if they dont im fucked. i really dont know what to do. right now though im waiting for josh and mikey, and then i can peace the fuck out of occ for today.