high school:ambivalence :: college: (blank)
...uncertainty
I believe that shall be the theme of college and later life. I wish I could say that pre-college I had everything figured out, but in reality I didn't. Uncertainty and doubt have always been ubiquitous in my life as well as many others I'm sure. High school's theme was ambivalence simply because it cast a shadow over the uncertainty that was definitely lurking. Now that fate has worked its natural magic, uncertainty is now in the lime light. Its the star!
I have come to realize that ultimately I have only a few very dear things on which I may depend (or find comfort in duping myself into relying on). Even something so basic as my freedom has now been thrown into the air of uncertainty. That's right, my freedom. Apparently a middle aged man's paternal love and unadulterated homophobia has encouraged him to put out a warrant for my arrest. Cameron says he won't really do it, and I can only pray that he's right. I'm honestly more worried about the beloved son; all I can say is that I would sacrifice my freedom for his safety with pretty much no ambivalence or uncertainty. I think I would much prefer having no dad at all than having his dad. He is sincerely, a disturbed man. I'm sure everyone would say they have one of "those," but that doesn't make it any more bearable or excusable. It simply unites us on a level that maybe one day will convince us that a mass patricide is the only answer.
Anywho, I've got more babbling to do elsewhere. Love--my anti everything.
I believe that shall be the theme of college and later life. I wish I could say that pre-college I had everything figured out, but in reality I didn't. Uncertainty and doubt have always been ubiquitous in my life as well as many others I'm sure. High school's theme was ambivalence simply because it cast a shadow over the uncertainty that was definitely lurking. Now that fate has worked its natural magic, uncertainty is now in the lime light. Its the star!
I have come to realize that ultimately I have only a few very dear things on which I may depend (or find comfort in duping myself into relying on). Even something so basic as my freedom has now been thrown into the air of uncertainty. That's right, my freedom. Apparently a middle aged man's paternal love and unadulterated homophobia has encouraged him to put out a warrant for my arrest. Cameron says he won't really do it, and I can only pray that he's right. I'm honestly more worried about the beloved son; all I can say is that I would sacrifice my freedom for his safety with pretty much no ambivalence or uncertainty. I think I would much prefer having no dad at all than having his dad. He is sincerely, a disturbed man. I'm sure everyone would say they have one of "those," but that doesn't make it any more bearable or excusable. It simply unites us on a level that maybe one day will convince us that a mass patricide is the only answer.
Anywho, I've got more babbling to do elsewhere. Love--my anti everything.