Winding Down
***re-post from www.TonyaJoneMiller.com***
Only two more shows left...I can't believe it's almost over! I feel so blessed to have been a part of this production...I've met so many amazing people...And last night I was reminded of yet another difference between Portland and NYC...Here, people from the audience don't say "good job, nice work" like they do in Manhattan. They say, "thank you!" It's the coolest thing, actual appreciation rather than a begrudging acknowledgement...Every time I hear it, I feel so thankful and humble...And it makes me so happy that I decided to come back home...
Tomorrow is closing night, and while it is definitely going to be sad bid the show and my incredible castmates farewell, I am ready to move on...There are a lot of things on my big To Do Before I Die list that are completely do-able NOW if I just get my ass in gear...The upcoming trip to Jamaica has got me primed for travel and exploration...Learning...The taking in of new stimuli and information...I feel like I have focused so intently on acting and phone sex in the past four years, I've missed a few adventures...
I balance that notion with the knowledge that I've made so many friends from both of my favorite endeavors and also experienced joys and delights I never imagined...There are no regrets here, just a simple realization that as time passes, my priorities shift...I cannot imagine ever not doing phone sex or being a part of Bay City Blues, nor could I continue to put in 80 hour weeks indefinitely...It's weird learning how to leave my baby alone, so to speak, while I go do things...And then coming back with new experiences and insight to share, coming home to my friends and family...It enables me to enjoy and cherish my time on the phone even more...
Lately my calls have been truly amazing...As I've mentioned before, it is the nature of phone sex that callers drift in and out of my life, and it often goes in waves...Recently I've spoken with some new clients who are deliciously intriguing and attentive...There is just something so fun about getting to discover a new person, unwrapping them like a present...It also gives me fresh appreciation for those friends I have who endure, regardless of the length of our professional relationship...There are people you can count on in your life...I'm sure you know the ones I mean...I like that I am that person for so many others, and that there are select few I can always depend on when the chips are down...
I've been thinking that maybe this blog isn't sexy enough...That I should make an effort to write more erotica and talk about my sexual exploits...But then someone will say something to me on the phone like, "you are so REAL. It's why I call you and nobody else." And I guess I have to believe that if I were all 100% sex all the time, people would see right through it. At least, the people who matter to me would. No one is always ON, especially not those of us who make our living in the sex industry. I have my bad days. I'm moody and emotional and volatile as hell. But I also truly love giving pleasure. So I save the graphic stuff for the telephone or the bedroom, unless I feel truly compelled...Should you be so lucky as to be one of my lovers, you will discover for yourself the different facets of my sexuality...But anyone is welcome to share my brain...Frightening prospect...Hehehe...
I'm off to finish the white bean and kale soup I'm making...Smells good...Oooh did I mention that I'm still cigarette free??? Yay! I'm going to celebrate with a glass of wine later...Lol...One vice at a time, right?
Only two more shows left...I can't believe it's almost over! I feel so blessed to have been a part of this production...I've met so many amazing people...And last night I was reminded of yet another difference between Portland and NYC...Here, people from the audience don't say "good job, nice work" like they do in Manhattan. They say, "thank you!" It's the coolest thing, actual appreciation rather than a begrudging acknowledgement...Every time I hear it, I feel so thankful and humble...And it makes me so happy that I decided to come back home...
Tomorrow is closing night, and while it is definitely going to be sad bid the show and my incredible castmates farewell, I am ready to move on...There are a lot of things on my big To Do Before I Die list that are completely do-able NOW if I just get my ass in gear...The upcoming trip to Jamaica has got me primed for travel and exploration...Learning...The taking in of new stimuli and information...I feel like I have focused so intently on acting and phone sex in the past four years, I've missed a few adventures...
I balance that notion with the knowledge that I've made so many friends from both of my favorite endeavors and also experienced joys and delights I never imagined...There are no regrets here, just a simple realization that as time passes, my priorities shift...I cannot imagine ever not doing phone sex or being a part of Bay City Blues, nor could I continue to put in 80 hour weeks indefinitely...It's weird learning how to leave my baby alone, so to speak, while I go do things...And then coming back with new experiences and insight to share, coming home to my friends and family...It enables me to enjoy and cherish my time on the phone even more...
Lately my calls have been truly amazing...As I've mentioned before, it is the nature of phone sex that callers drift in and out of my life, and it often goes in waves...Recently I've spoken with some new clients who are deliciously intriguing and attentive...There is just something so fun about getting to discover a new person, unwrapping them like a present...It also gives me fresh appreciation for those friends I have who endure, regardless of the length of our professional relationship...There are people you can count on in your life...I'm sure you know the ones I mean...I like that I am that person for so many others, and that there are select few I can always depend on when the chips are down...
I've been thinking that maybe this blog isn't sexy enough...That I should make an effort to write more erotica and talk about my sexual exploits...But then someone will say something to me on the phone like, "you are so REAL. It's why I call you and nobody else." And I guess I have to believe that if I were all 100% sex all the time, people would see right through it. At least, the people who matter to me would. No one is always ON, especially not those of us who make our living in the sex industry. I have my bad days. I'm moody and emotional and volatile as hell. But I also truly love giving pleasure. So I save the graphic stuff for the telephone or the bedroom, unless I feel truly compelled...Should you be so lucky as to be one of my lovers, you will discover for yourself the different facets of my sexuality...But anyone is welcome to share my brain...Frightening prospect...Hehehe...
I'm off to finish the white bean and kale soup I'm making...Smells good...Oooh did I mention that I'm still cigarette free??? Yay! I'm going to celebrate with a glass of wine later...Lol...One vice at a time, right?