(no subject)
So im going to try this again and hope it doesnt just go away..
So me and james are i hope doing alot better. something i noticed, people always talk about their relationships and how they start off really good and the guy is real nice and opens the doors and all that jazz and they hit the peak and they start to go back down, but with me and james i dont think that happened every time i see him i found another new reason why i want to be with him and only him for the rest of our lives. he was talking last night about him baby sittin and how much he loved kids and cant wait to have them that made me so excited and made me think of our future together but also made me sad because i want kid so bad and we cant have them now and it also made me think of.... yes the air force and how i dont know what im goin to so i dont want him to leave, so i have to decided some very important stuff very soon and im gettin scared as hell!! i still have a hour left in this night school and im so bored i have been done for ever it seems like so now all i have to do is sit here and dream of the day that james will ask me to marry him, yeah that will always be a dream.. GOD I LOVE HIM
So i was so happy james said he was going to stay with me from 6 (after school) till 11 and now he changes it and is leaving at 7 so now i wont get to see him he said i can go with him to joshs soccer game and ride back with his dad but i feel funny riding back just his dad, so once again he let me down and i was not first the sad thing is im gettin used to it which i shouldnt have to, its like when we talk i just sit here and wait for him to tell me something thats goin to make me sad.. and that thought right there makes me so freaken sad.
well this weekend we are either going to the bled concert sunday and nothing else.. (tear) of we are going to something haunted on friday and a pumpkin patch with a maze in stuff sat and then sat night making dinner together and craving our pumpkins and watching scary movies.. *SMILE* that would make me so happy!! But somehow i just know something will come up with james or for some reason he cant go most likly because of his brother. his brother is a dick if you dont know him.. like last sunday he came and got james so me and james couldnt hang out and of course james went with him and there was no reason why he couldnt have got him mon when we were not together, be he is a little asshole who cries like he is 12 GRR its so hard to try to get along with him and act like i like him so james doesnt get upset because they are really close.. god only knows why
Why im going to go TONYA