(no subject)
going through old photographs, it was odd to see all of those images and faces in color when i've stored them all into my subconscious in black and white - when the world is grey it always seems less flawed. every contrast seems to be set by the sun itself - no one takes a bad black and white picture unless they're really really trying to.
drunken stupors can even look blissfully beautiful. the most fun you've had ever in your life. until the photo jogs the memory of the bullshit you spoke and the bullshit you acted. schmoozing is a funny and desperate business. i try hard not to schmooze. but far be it from me to not accept anything schmoozing might get me - be that something as little as a drink to something as large as a home cooked meal on a fire escape because i didn't want the party, i just wanted the girl.
i've pretty much accepted that i've finally lost that round. i think i'm pretty okay with it actually. there are plenty of people who will always have a place in my life and my heart - but there are only about four who i'll always carry a torch for. i'm sure they all know who they are and if you know me as well as i think you all do, i'm sure you do as well.
it always seems as i take even the subtlest of downs in my personal life my career takes a soar upward. i can't complain really, though you'd think i were more of a libra than an aquarius. or at least i would.
i left a lot of memories back in los angeles, but the more i catch a glimpse of the captured still frames i can look back on and call my past the more i realize they'll always be there and if the craving gets too crazy i'm only half a day away from going back there and having them all surrounding me again.
but the past is past, the future is future and i'm taking all the right steps to continue on in that direction.
and just in case you might not have heard, i let my signature flow along a dotted line not too long ago.
drunken stupors can even look blissfully beautiful. the most fun you've had ever in your life. until the photo jogs the memory of the bullshit you spoke and the bullshit you acted. schmoozing is a funny and desperate business. i try hard not to schmooze. but far be it from me to not accept anything schmoozing might get me - be that something as little as a drink to something as large as a home cooked meal on a fire escape because i didn't want the party, i just wanted the girl.
i've pretty much accepted that i've finally lost that round. i think i'm pretty okay with it actually. there are plenty of people who will always have a place in my life and my heart - but there are only about four who i'll always carry a torch for. i'm sure they all know who they are and if you know me as well as i think you all do, i'm sure you do as well.
it always seems as i take even the subtlest of downs in my personal life my career takes a soar upward. i can't complain really, though you'd think i were more of a libra than an aquarius. or at least i would.
i left a lot of memories back in los angeles, but the more i catch a glimpse of the captured still frames i can look back on and call my past the more i realize they'll always be there and if the craving gets too crazy i'm only half a day away from going back there and having them all surrounding me again.
but the past is past, the future is future and i'm taking all the right steps to continue on in that direction.
and just in case you might not have heard, i let my signature flow along a dotted line not too long ago.