Juno from Juneau
Anyone who says the democrats are more than the lesser of two evils hasn’t been paying attention. Obama is an eloquent Bullshit artist in the grand tradition of Kennedy, Carter and Clinton, only Obama has infused his Bullshit with the same energy and intensity that Gnarls Barkley have injected into hip-hop. He’s got a good bead on EXACTLY what specific bullshit issues America is ready to dispose of in 2008, like lapel pins or funny names - gays and abortions, sadly, are not on the list just yet. But at the end of the day, Obama will never be able to deliver what he promises, which makes him either a liar or delusional, and either way, in the words of the dearly departed George Carlin, "It’s all bullshit, and it’s bad for ya."
But at least he represents the party that takes simple, elegant LOGIC into effect now and then. The republicans, on the other hand, seem to view logic itself as an obstacle to achieving their personal dreams, which involve every poor child wishing they could someday fan a rich white man with a palm frond. When I hear the republicans speak, a strangely unpleasant sensation creeps through my entire body - and then I realize, it's because I'm OFFENDED. And I don't get offended easily; I've seen "The Aristocrats" several times now, and each time I laugh my ass off and never cringe once.
Now a certain walking, talking sanitary napkin by the name of Sarah Palin - a member of the “Christian Athletes” as a youth, meaning they thanked God when they won and ignored His presence when they lost - a woman who got her start as a public speaker by being judged for her appearance as an object of phallic fancy - a woman who reminds me of the kind of women who go to the church right next to the Target so they don’t have to park twice - has a pregnant 17-year-old-daughter, and she claims it’s their private decision which holds no credence in a race like this. Isn’t that marvelous? In a competition to become second-in-command behind the nominee closer to death than any previous nominees, Palin has decided FOR US which qualifications are relevant. That’s awesome! Next time I go in for a job interview, I’ll be sure to put “knocked up a hooker” on my resume, then when the issue is brought up I’ll put on a brown cloak, wave my hand in front of the interviewer’s face and say “That doesn’t matter, you will give me the job.”
Many have brought up the hypocrisy of a firm pro-lifer "allowing" her daughter to make a choice that she won’t let the rest of the female populace make, but I see a more pervasive problem here. You see kids, no matter how "uncomfortable" it may be to talk about (boo hoo) this issue logically DOES HOLD SOME GODDAMNED CREDENCE. If you’re somehow going to nearly impeach a President for getting his cock sucked, then you’ve got to concede that according to similar standards (which dictate, just to remind you, that a pregnancy at age 17 is a BAD THING to be avoided at all costs) a parent letting such shocking indecency happen right under her nose demonstrates ineptitude that throws into SERIOUS question her competence as a parent, and therefore, a leader. This isn't just the symbolism of a miniature flag stuck to your chest, this is a LIVING CREATURE. It may not be the fairest judgement, but you gotta play by the rules - if you're trying to become the Vice President of Chevrolet, you never let 'em catch you driving a Ford.
...Unless, of course, we've changed the rulebook here. Is it okay to let your underage children have children of her own now? Has "child farming" finally been legalized?
Or is it that seventeen-year-olds AREN’T underage anymore? That'd be perfect! In that case, Bristol is an adult with a mind of her own, NOT a subsidiary of her parents, and Sarah Palin is totally blameless for letting the bird leave the nest. So, if McCain wins, I’ll naturally expect the national age of consent to drop to seventeen. And with it, the age at which you can vote, buy a gun, and drive without parental supervision. And of course, you’ll be freeing at least a good 10% of those lonely "predators" currently imprisoned, being pounded in the ass while dreaming of revenge on that sadistic fascist fuck Chris Hansen. And of course, I’ll personally be expecting to get back that unspeakably hellish, red-taped, blue-balled, torturous year of my life I wasted as a high school senior.
But, no. Republicans will always try to have their Katrina Birthday cake, and eat it too while we the people starve. Anyone who ignores Logic- the TRUE God of the universe, the deity we all must bow down before, lest we face its’ just wrath - on such a cosmic level does not deserve my vote, or yours either. Obama is what this country deserves: a big hunk of bullshit that at least knows enough to see the irrelevance of lapel pins. It’s not a national ban on "abstinence-only" sex ed (which is kinda like "white paint only" art class), but it’s one fetus-step at a time.
But at least he represents the party that takes simple, elegant LOGIC into effect now and then. The republicans, on the other hand, seem to view logic itself as an obstacle to achieving their personal dreams, which involve every poor child wishing they could someday fan a rich white man with a palm frond. When I hear the republicans speak, a strangely unpleasant sensation creeps through my entire body - and then I realize, it's because I'm OFFENDED. And I don't get offended easily; I've seen "The Aristocrats" several times now, and each time I laugh my ass off and never cringe once.
Now a certain walking, talking sanitary napkin by the name of Sarah Palin - a member of the “Christian Athletes” as a youth, meaning they thanked God when they won and ignored His presence when they lost - a woman who got her start as a public speaker by being judged for her appearance as an object of phallic fancy - a woman who reminds me of the kind of women who go to the church right next to the Target so they don’t have to park twice - has a pregnant 17-year-old-daughter, and she claims it’s their private decision which holds no credence in a race like this. Isn’t that marvelous? In a competition to become second-in-command behind the nominee closer to death than any previous nominees, Palin has decided FOR US which qualifications are relevant. That’s awesome! Next time I go in for a job interview, I’ll be sure to put “knocked up a hooker” on my resume, then when the issue is brought up I’ll put on a brown cloak, wave my hand in front of the interviewer’s face and say “That doesn’t matter, you will give me the job.”
Many have brought up the hypocrisy of a firm pro-lifer "allowing" her daughter to make a choice that she won’t let the rest of the female populace make, but I see a more pervasive problem here. You see kids, no matter how "uncomfortable" it may be to talk about (boo hoo) this issue logically DOES HOLD SOME GODDAMNED CREDENCE. If you’re somehow going to nearly impeach a President for getting his cock sucked, then you’ve got to concede that according to similar standards (which dictate, just to remind you, that a pregnancy at age 17 is a BAD THING to be avoided at all costs) a parent letting such shocking indecency happen right under her nose demonstrates ineptitude that throws into SERIOUS question her competence as a parent, and therefore, a leader. This isn't just the symbolism of a miniature flag stuck to your chest, this is a LIVING CREATURE. It may not be the fairest judgement, but you gotta play by the rules - if you're trying to become the Vice President of Chevrolet, you never let 'em catch you driving a Ford.
...Unless, of course, we've changed the rulebook here. Is it okay to let your underage children have children of her own now? Has "child farming" finally been legalized?
Or is it that seventeen-year-olds AREN’T underage anymore? That'd be perfect! In that case, Bristol is an adult with a mind of her own, NOT a subsidiary of her parents, and Sarah Palin is totally blameless for letting the bird leave the nest. So, if McCain wins, I’ll naturally expect the national age of consent to drop to seventeen. And with it, the age at which you can vote, buy a gun, and drive without parental supervision. And of course, you’ll be freeing at least a good 10% of those lonely "predators" currently imprisoned, being pounded in the ass while dreaming of revenge on that sadistic fascist fuck Chris Hansen. And of course, I’ll personally be expecting to get back that unspeakably hellish, red-taped, blue-balled, torturous year of my life I wasted as a high school senior.
But, no. Republicans will always try to have their Katrina Birthday cake, and eat it too while we the people starve. Anyone who ignores Logic- the TRUE God of the universe, the deity we all must bow down before, lest we face its’ just wrath - on such a cosmic level does not deserve my vote, or yours either. Obama is what this country deserves: a big hunk of bullshit that at least knows enough to see the irrelevance of lapel pins. It’s not a national ban on "abstinence-only" sex ed (which is kinda like "white paint only" art class), but it’s one fetus-step at a time.