THAT'LL show em.
"And the award goes to...Tony Goldmark!"
(I walk up to podium)
Thank you, thank you. You know, when a lot of people win this award they say, "Suck it, Jesus."
But is Jesus really the problem?
I mean, sure, his name has cannibalized the culture, justified bloodshed, kept entire regions from rising again, and brought about the worst presidency since slavery was legal, but would he really be as much of a threat to our rights if the Christian cults of this country weren't putting him up on a crossy pedestal?
So fuck you, Christians. Fuck every last autonomous unit of theocracy in this ignorant, Wal-Mart encrusted country of ours. Fuck you for calling the kettle black, fuck you for talking like retarded four-year-olds, and most of all, fuck you for trusting a magical dead man above your own damn brain.
YOU are the reason why fun dies. Thank you and goodnight.
(Orchestra plays)
"Coming up next - the cast of Grey's Anatomy presents the award for Best Survivor spin-off! Plus, an exclusive performance from Scott Stapp!"
(fade out, fade in on a Wal-Mart ad)
(I walk up to podium)
Thank you, thank you. You know, when a lot of people win this award they say, "Suck it, Jesus."
But is Jesus really the problem?
I mean, sure, his name has cannibalized the culture, justified bloodshed, kept entire regions from rising again, and brought about the worst presidency since slavery was legal, but would he really be as much of a threat to our rights if the Christian cults of this country weren't putting him up on a crossy pedestal?
So fuck you, Christians. Fuck every last autonomous unit of theocracy in this ignorant, Wal-Mart encrusted country of ours. Fuck you for calling the kettle black, fuck you for talking like retarded four-year-olds, and most of all, fuck you for trusting a magical dead man above your own damn brain.
YOU are the reason why fun dies. Thank you and goodnight.
(Orchestra plays)
"Coming up next - the cast of Grey's Anatomy presents the award for Best Survivor spin-off! Plus, an exclusive performance from Scott Stapp!"
(fade out, fade in on a Wal-Mart ad)