(no subject)
Alright here's the deal. it's been 2yrs. since jon died & it's not getting easier. he's been in my dreams for the last 2 months now. and everytime he's about to tell me why he did it, but then everything he says is silenced.
Chris died 5 months ago already & it doesn't even feel like it's been that long. i'm worried about jon and lauren. it's like sinced he passed away, part of them is missing. we've all gotten closer & we're going on a road trip in a couple days & that's awesome. i just wish chris could be going with us. he should be. he was supposed to be one of jon's groomsmen. he was supposed to be lauren's husband. he'd have been a great dad. same with jon, he was supposed to graduate with our class. he was supposed to go to south street, become a photographer, get married, be random, just be able to smile every single day. & i really hope that he does smile everyday.
but after jon & before chris, one of my very close childhood friends zack, my next door neighbor from charlotte died from cancer. he was only 26. he was diagnosed around 14 & he never moped about it. not once. he went sky diving, scuba diving, he volunteered, he laughed all the time, he was just the nicest person you could have ever known.
i'm sure none of that really made sense.. i just needed to get that out somehow.