Another Breakdown in 3...2...1...
I'm getting ready to murder my brother. He keeps pissing me off with his competitiveness with Marcie to be "in charge" of everything. Whenever he doesn't agree with something, he calls my Dad's brothers and sister to get confirmation that he's right. The problem is, their probably just agreeing with him because they figure he's just freaking out due to grief. It's a distinct possibility, but there's also the possibility that he's just an arrogant ass that needs to back off from time to time.
We were arguing over what picture to use at the church for the memorial service. He said that Dad would have wanted a certain one, and that our aunts and uncles back him up on that. Who cares? As soon as he married my mom and had us, we came first...followed by his siblings. That's how any family should work. My opinion should matter more to him. But it doesn't. So, because Patrick never loses and argument, I was just cast aside and told him to get lost. He stormed out of the house. Haha.
It's also continuing to piss me off that people don't recognize that I've now lost both of my parents. I went to our family doctor yesterday with Marcie because she wanted to see about getting some sleeping pills. I went along for moral support. This doctor was my Mom's doctor, she is my grandparents' doctor, and she was my father's doctor. She knows my entire family's medical history, and she also goes to our church. You would think that while she's talking to and comforting Marcie that she would at least say something to me...but no. I don't understand that. She didn't even acknowledge that I was there. What the fuck? Even other people from church are failing to acknowledge the fact that I've lost someone, too. I am completely sympathetic to the fact that Marcie has lost her husband and companion. I feel really bad that she only got to spend a total of three years with my Dad...but he was my Dad for 23 years. But nobody seems to care.
I know it might sound selfish, but for some reason I just want people to know that I'm hurting too. I'm not looking for sympathy from any of you because you have all been wonderful to me in asking me how I'm doing and checking in on me. My frustration is for anyone who doesn't read this. I know that's counterproductive, but hey...I can't actually tell people this.
We were arguing over what picture to use at the church for the memorial service. He said that Dad would have wanted a certain one, and that our aunts and uncles back him up on that. Who cares? As soon as he married my mom and had us, we came first...followed by his siblings. That's how any family should work. My opinion should matter more to him. But it doesn't. So, because Patrick never loses and argument, I was just cast aside and told him to get lost. He stormed out of the house. Haha.
It's also continuing to piss me off that people don't recognize that I've now lost both of my parents. I went to our family doctor yesterday with Marcie because she wanted to see about getting some sleeping pills. I went along for moral support. This doctor was my Mom's doctor, she is my grandparents' doctor, and she was my father's doctor. She knows my entire family's medical history, and she also goes to our church. You would think that while she's talking to and comforting Marcie that she would at least say something to me...but no. I don't understand that. She didn't even acknowledge that I was there. What the fuck? Even other people from church are failing to acknowledge the fact that I've lost someone, too. I am completely sympathetic to the fact that Marcie has lost her husband and companion. I feel really bad that she only got to spend a total of three years with my Dad...but he was my Dad for 23 years. But nobody seems to care.
I know it might sound selfish, but for some reason I just want people to know that I'm hurting too. I'm not looking for sympathy from any of you because you have all been wonderful to me in asking me how I'm doing and checking in on me. My frustration is for anyone who doesn't read this. I know that's counterproductive, but hey...I can't actually tell people this.