Its getting better - slowly
When things like this happen I strangely don't know the right things to say.
Maybe I'm just tired - I am, but maybe too bitter, cynical, dysbelieving.
Indeed, I've been puzzled / worried at how little voice I have to talk about the changes - some for the better - in the world over the last year. Especially since it was pretty much the state of the world that compelled me to go study journalism in the first place. IE; I am outraged by the state of the world >> I cannot go another minute without standing up & shouting / screaming / stamping / speaking out against it.
And, if you are going to do such a thing, you want to be able to do it well.
That was me only a few years ago.
Now, I'm conscious that I really don't get my greater audience. I'm fine one on one. That nearly always nearly seems to work & work well. Groups though, they don't seem to get me. They find my logical steps & flows to be random. They're not.
For my part, I find the commonly expressed need to contain the moment... to force comfort zone, to deny what can't be grappled with, to go on & on & on about the same things in the same ways to be the unbearable lightness of being.
Part of it is that once you get into learning about the world - Week1Day1 @ CIT Journalism homework was - From now until the end of the course you are required to read @ least 5 newspapers every day you must answer to that knowledge.
So, I got it into it... and methinks, knowing shit is a bit addictive, and more often than not exhaustive.
Of course, it was more a personal journey than a course for me. I was rebooting my reasoning. Gathering my intellectual powers to me as I have in a kindov mythological bootstrap, a Joseph Campbell self healing field trip into my underworld & up out again. Antony does a Gandalf The White kind of thing.
And I've learnt that the world is incredibly complex. I get that. My next thought is where do I start?
And that's when everyone seems to step back.
I don't get that, why would you want to walk away from something this big, this exciting, this fulfilling?
How can you get enough of that?
Why would you return from a moment like that, an opportunity to learn like that - and to ground so frequently worn down?
If we have learned anything over the past decade, it is that there is no certainty in the familiar. Safe harbour feels nice when you can find it but whatever it is for you, it is not real sanctuary. Just a small factor in fate management.
Its worked but the industry has no use for someone like me. Most of my skills seem to lie in investigative work, in getting someone's story out, in confrontation & they just aren't hiring that skillset.
I've often said that I've got a good face for radio & it seems community radio wants people who can investigate & interview & relate & explain but mostly just operate the equipment, play the music & if possible answer the phone & lock up when you leave.
And the industry wants people who can have done that well, with no pay - for the past few years - sometimes, a bit.
For the time being I'll pursue my musical aspirations but, recently I've been putting together an organised list of all the things America could do to no longer be such a pariah state.
Some of it is hard, like not disappointing adults who paid attention to American rhetoric as youngsters.
Some of it is possible but hard to imagine... like realising that the only freedom guaranteed in a liberal democracy not guaranteed by a social democratic model is the right to exploit. Thanks for that & everything else Aveline.
Some of it is essential like - immediately closing the School of the Americas.
I don't know where I will go with my own personal struggle. I don't know what I must learn so as to reinterpret human society in a way that I see it as something more than a prequel to Lord Of The Flies.
But this obviated my struggle, at least for now.
http://www.nytimes-se.com/
Thankyou Maya.
Happy for now
- TonyG
Maybe I'm just tired - I am, but maybe too bitter, cynical, dysbelieving.
Indeed, I've been puzzled / worried at how little voice I have to talk about the changes - some for the better - in the world over the last year. Especially since it was pretty much the state of the world that compelled me to go study journalism in the first place. IE; I am outraged by the state of the world >> I cannot go another minute without standing up & shouting / screaming / stamping / speaking out against it.
And, if you are going to do such a thing, you want to be able to do it well.
That was me only a few years ago.
Now, I'm conscious that I really don't get my greater audience. I'm fine one on one. That nearly always nearly seems to work & work well. Groups though, they don't seem to get me. They find my logical steps & flows to be random. They're not.
For my part, I find the commonly expressed need to contain the moment... to force comfort zone, to deny what can't be grappled with, to go on & on & on about the same things in the same ways to be the unbearable lightness of being.
Part of it is that once you get into learning about the world - Week1Day1 @ CIT Journalism homework was - From now until the end of the course you are required to read @ least 5 newspapers every day you must answer to that knowledge.
So, I got it into it... and methinks, knowing shit is a bit addictive, and more often than not exhaustive.
Of course, it was more a personal journey than a course for me. I was rebooting my reasoning. Gathering my intellectual powers to me as I have in a kindov mythological bootstrap, a Joseph Campbell self healing field trip into my underworld & up out again. Antony does a Gandalf The White kind of thing.
And I've learnt that the world is incredibly complex. I get that. My next thought is where do I start?
And that's when everyone seems to step back.
I don't get that, why would you want to walk away from something this big, this exciting, this fulfilling?
How can you get enough of that?
Why would you return from a moment like that, an opportunity to learn like that - and to ground so frequently worn down?
If we have learned anything over the past decade, it is that there is no certainty in the familiar. Safe harbour feels nice when you can find it but whatever it is for you, it is not real sanctuary. Just a small factor in fate management.
Its worked but the industry has no use for someone like me. Most of my skills seem to lie in investigative work, in getting someone's story out, in confrontation & they just aren't hiring that skillset.
I've often said that I've got a good face for radio & it seems community radio wants people who can investigate & interview & relate & explain but mostly just operate the equipment, play the music & if possible answer the phone & lock up when you leave.
And the industry wants people who can have done that well, with no pay - for the past few years - sometimes, a bit.
For the time being I'll pursue my musical aspirations but, recently I've been putting together an organised list of all the things America could do to no longer be such a pariah state.
Some of it is hard, like not disappointing adults who paid attention to American rhetoric as youngsters.
Some of it is possible but hard to imagine... like realising that the only freedom guaranteed in a liberal democracy not guaranteed by a social democratic model is the right to exploit. Thanks for that & everything else Aveline.
Some of it is essential like - immediately closing the School of the Americas.
I don't know where I will go with my own personal struggle. I don't know what I must learn so as to reinterpret human society in a way that I see it as something more than a prequel to Lord Of The Flies.
But this obviated my struggle, at least for now.
http://www.nytimes-se.com/
Thankyou Maya.
Happy for now
- TonyG