i had a bad day today.
today was a bad day.
i really dont like living here. somedays it seems great. and im happy.
then just somedays i remember how far away i am. and i cant see the only person i want to because i dont have money. ive never had that before. he was always just a room away.
I HATE IT HERE!!!
i dont like to sit at home all day. i mean i like to hang out with my sister and my neices, but i really need friends of my own, ya know?
idk. i feel too young to really relate to anybody. i mean the only thing that there is to do would be to go out and drink. and little 18 year old lindsey cant do that.
i dont know. im just really really annoyed. i feel really alone here.
and troy needs my help and i cant even help him. and its so frustrating. theres nothing i can do for him over the phone.
i just want to get through this year and move back. im thinking about dropping out, and taking classes at bc and at csub to be a kindergaten teacher or something.
but i will have to pay the government over $2,000 from my scholorships and grants. i dont know. its too early to give up i suppose. i really dont think this is good for me. this class. i mean, im just not very good at it. i thought i had a plan, and now im scared that its not going to work out. i wish that i could just take a little quiz and it would tell me exactly what to do with my life and i could do it and it would be perfect.
i hate being this young and already knowing what im going to be doing for the rest of my life. i wish that i had had more time to be young. instead i had to be 18 at 16 and now im like 25 at 18.
i just serisouly put myself in a rut today. i went with my sister to lunch. then i came home. and just sat here. and its so hard because shes there with her husband and her family and i feel so much like a burden. and like an extra wheel. and i just dont know what to do.
ugh. today was a negative day for me. i hope i feel better tomorrow.
i really dont like living here. somedays it seems great. and im happy.
then just somedays i remember how far away i am. and i cant see the only person i want to because i dont have money. ive never had that before. he was always just a room away.
I HATE IT HERE!!!
i dont like to sit at home all day. i mean i like to hang out with my sister and my neices, but i really need friends of my own, ya know?
idk. i feel too young to really relate to anybody. i mean the only thing that there is to do would be to go out and drink. and little 18 year old lindsey cant do that.
i dont know. im just really really annoyed. i feel really alone here.
and troy needs my help and i cant even help him. and its so frustrating. theres nothing i can do for him over the phone.
i just want to get through this year and move back. im thinking about dropping out, and taking classes at bc and at csub to be a kindergaten teacher or something.
but i will have to pay the government over $2,000 from my scholorships and grants. i dont know. its too early to give up i suppose. i really dont think this is good for me. this class. i mean, im just not very good at it. i thought i had a plan, and now im scared that its not going to work out. i wish that i could just take a little quiz and it would tell me exactly what to do with my life and i could do it and it would be perfect.
i hate being this young and already knowing what im going to be doing for the rest of my life. i wish that i had had more time to be young. instead i had to be 18 at 16 and now im like 25 at 18.
i just serisouly put myself in a rut today. i went with my sister to lunch. then i came home. and just sat here. and its so hard because shes there with her husband and her family and i feel so much like a burden. and like an extra wheel. and i just dont know what to do.
ugh. today was a negative day for me. i hope i feel better tomorrow.