wtf je.
Sometimes I write about Japanese people.
untitled
ikuta toma/yamashita tomahisa/matsumoto jun
pg-13 whatever
If Jun isn't jealous, he should be, Tomohisa thinks with an alcohol-fused mind joining the facts that Toma's hand is tangled in Tomohisa's neck hair, and Jun's eyes are focused on exactly just that. It's not that it matters, of course, but there's an odd sense of pride in that this person, Toma grinning like there isn't enough light in the universe as it is, is in a weird way his, all his because Tomohisa knows he's Toma's best friend, he has to be, and there is nobody but him.
He smiles lazily, tilting his head back against Toma's touch, pulling at Toma's clothing to get closer, as Toma's giggling fantastically, like it's a joke which he supposes it is, but it's not like he's forced to think of it as such.
Jun's eyes fall on his drink instead, and for a moment Tomohisa feels a stab of guilt, and Toma excuses himself for the bathroom and now Jun, fucking actor extraordinaire, looks like he's going to kill himself, and Tomohisa just wants to make it better.
"Just a joke," he tries. "You have a sense of humor, right?"
And it's not like he's not friends with Jun, he is, kind of, sort of, not like he's friends with Ryo or Toma or Jin, and not like Jun's friends with Toma - but of course he's better friends with Toma, only it's not a competition. Tomohisa has a difficult time being rational like that. Especially when this drunk.
"Sure," Jun says with a smile, but the tone is awfully dark, and Tomohisa is annoyed. It's not his fault Toma loves him, and not Jun.
Stupid Jun.
"I have to go now," Toma says, flipping his cell phone closed as if finishing a call. "I have a ..friend coming over."
"You live with your parents," Tomohisa says.
"Uh, yeah," Toma says, "they're on holiday."
"Which friend?" Jun asks.
Toma says nothing, just lands bills on the table and and winks at both of them, and then there they are, stuck with alcohol and snacks and nothing to talk about.
"I guess that means girlfriend," Jun says, and sounds just as dark as ever, only he's still smiling, like it's painted on his face.
"Or boyf--" Tomohisa says but doesn't finish, because that's just not a possibility, either. He's been over this with himself before.
Jun's staring at him in an odd way.
"More booze?" Tomohisa suggests.
Jun nods. Always a good option.
*
By the end of the evening it's Jun's hand at the back of his neck and Jun's mouth over his, and Tomohisa contemplates pushing Jun away as soon as he pushes aside the thought about how weird this all really is, how Jun tastes how Toma would maybe taste at this stage of intoxication.
"I thought you dated girls," Tomohisa finally says, as the kiss ends and silence has little time to settle between them.
"I thought you dated Toma-san," Jun shoots back and in a way that hurts more than anything else, that even Jun can see how freakishly in love he is with Toma, and how that maybe should be more than just a little thought he plays with and throws away with a heavy mind.
Tomohisa kisses Jun again, because Jun probably gets that better than any of the other people he's ever tried to love before.
And maybe that's the saddest part, the delusion of how incredible it feels just then, and the next morning that the way he actually really likes Jun is what makes it - if not perfect then at least - ideal.
Until his phone rings and Toma's voice blasts through the hangover and makes him smile, and then laugh, with feeling so genuine it shouldn't be allowed to exist.
---
WTF the TomaPun became so angsty. But I love it anyway.
--
And here's a TomaPi I kind of started and never finished.
---
Tomohisa doesn't remember much about being eleven years old. Groups changed, places changed, and only the non-stop practise stayed the same. Faces changed. He tried very hard to hold onto each friend he could gain during the time.
The hardest he held onto Toma, because he could make Toma smile and Toma always made him laugh.
They played, and play-fought and things changed around them, but those days, Tomohisa stopped being so bothered by it all.
*
Toma kissed him once.
Tomohisa wiped his cheek and blushed. “What was that for?” he asked irritably.
“That's what they do,” Toma said with a grin, they referring to the sempais, the people that they too would one day become. “Fanservice.”
“Idiot,” Tomohisa replied. “Only for the cameras. The cameras,” he repeated dumbly and Toma was just smiling like it didn't matter.
“Sorry,” Toma said with a shrug. “Lunch?”
“How can you not know that,” Tomohisa said but let the whole thing slide eventually. “Sure.”
---
Where are you, Tomapi inspiration. :(
untitled
ikuta toma/yamashita tomahisa/matsumoto jun
pg-13 whatever
If Jun isn't jealous, he should be, Tomohisa thinks with an alcohol-fused mind joining the facts that Toma's hand is tangled in Tomohisa's neck hair, and Jun's eyes are focused on exactly just that. It's not that it matters, of course, but there's an odd sense of pride in that this person, Toma grinning like there isn't enough light in the universe as it is, is in a weird way his, all his because Tomohisa knows he's Toma's best friend, he has to be, and there is nobody but him.
He smiles lazily, tilting his head back against Toma's touch, pulling at Toma's clothing to get closer, as Toma's giggling fantastically, like it's a joke which he supposes it is, but it's not like he's forced to think of it as such.
Jun's eyes fall on his drink instead, and for a moment Tomohisa feels a stab of guilt, and Toma excuses himself for the bathroom and now Jun, fucking actor extraordinaire, looks like he's going to kill himself, and Tomohisa just wants to make it better.
"Just a joke," he tries. "You have a sense of humor, right?"
And it's not like he's not friends with Jun, he is, kind of, sort of, not like he's friends with Ryo or Toma or Jin, and not like Jun's friends with Toma - but of course he's better friends with Toma, only it's not a competition. Tomohisa has a difficult time being rational like that. Especially when this drunk.
"Sure," Jun says with a smile, but the tone is awfully dark, and Tomohisa is annoyed. It's not his fault Toma loves him, and not Jun.
Stupid Jun.
"I have to go now," Toma says, flipping his cell phone closed as if finishing a call. "I have a ..friend coming over."
"You live with your parents," Tomohisa says.
"Uh, yeah," Toma says, "they're on holiday."
"Which friend?" Jun asks.
Toma says nothing, just lands bills on the table and and winks at both of them, and then there they are, stuck with alcohol and snacks and nothing to talk about.
"I guess that means girlfriend," Jun says, and sounds just as dark as ever, only he's still smiling, like it's painted on his face.
"Or boyf--" Tomohisa says but doesn't finish, because that's just not a possibility, either. He's been over this with himself before.
Jun's staring at him in an odd way.
"More booze?" Tomohisa suggests.
Jun nods. Always a good option.
*
By the end of the evening it's Jun's hand at the back of his neck and Jun's mouth over his, and Tomohisa contemplates pushing Jun away as soon as he pushes aside the thought about how weird this all really is, how Jun tastes how Toma would maybe taste at this stage of intoxication.
"I thought you dated girls," Tomohisa finally says, as the kiss ends and silence has little time to settle between them.
"I thought you dated Toma-san," Jun shoots back and in a way that hurts more than anything else, that even Jun can see how freakishly in love he is with Toma, and how that maybe should be more than just a little thought he plays with and throws away with a heavy mind.
Tomohisa kisses Jun again, because Jun probably gets that better than any of the other people he's ever tried to love before.
And maybe that's the saddest part, the delusion of how incredible it feels just then, and the next morning that the way he actually really likes Jun is what makes it - if not perfect then at least - ideal.
Until his phone rings and Toma's voice blasts through the hangover and makes him smile, and then laugh, with feeling so genuine it shouldn't be allowed to exist.
---
WTF the TomaPun became so angsty. But I love it anyway.
--
And here's a TomaPi I kind of started and never finished.
---
Tomohisa doesn't remember much about being eleven years old. Groups changed, places changed, and only the non-stop practise stayed the same. Faces changed. He tried very hard to hold onto each friend he could gain during the time.
The hardest he held onto Toma, because he could make Toma smile and Toma always made him laugh.
They played, and play-fought and things changed around them, but those days, Tomohisa stopped being so bothered by it all.
*
Toma kissed him once.
Tomohisa wiped his cheek and blushed. “What was that for?” he asked irritably.
“That's what they do,” Toma said with a grin, they referring to the sempais, the people that they too would one day become. “Fanservice.”
“Idiot,” Tomohisa replied. “Only for the cameras. The cameras,” he repeated dumbly and Toma was just smiling like it didn't matter.
“Sorry,” Toma said with a shrug. “Lunch?”
“How can you not know that,” Tomohisa said but let the whole thing slide eventually. “Sure.”
---
Where are you, Tomapi inspiration. :(