The Fun of Diplomacy 2011
Note Verbale No. 1
The Embassy of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has the honour to present its compliments to the Embassy of the Czech Republic and to thank the Embassy for the very decorative and informative calendar entitled 'The Power of Diplomacy 2011'.
Regrettably, however, the Embassy of the United Kingdom has to draw the attention of the Embassy of the Czech Republic to an unfortunate error that crept into the text under the calendar for the month of May. In referring to the diplomatic activities of King John of Luxembourg, the calendar records that he was killed at the Battle of Crecy in 1346 where he was defending French interests against English 'invasion'. Such recent events can be source of continued sensitivity to those with long memories.
The truth, of course, is that it was clear to everyone who studied the matter (and here can 'Blind' King John of Luxembourg can perhaps be excused) that on the death of King Charles IV of France and the resulting end of the Capetian dynasty, the rightful heir to the throne of France was King Edward III of England.
Under these circumstances it was perfectly understandable that in 1346 England should undertake a minor kinetic policing operation to restore order in its cross-Channel possessions. This could hardly be called an 'invasion'. In the event, more than 35,000 heavily armed French hooligans turned up clearly determined to cause trouble by confronting the heavily outnumbered English (and Welsh) forces of law and order. This inevitably led to several French casualties, all of which were no doubt investigated by the predecessor of today's Independent Police Complaints Authority. The policing action took a little longer than planned and lasted for approximately 100 years but the mission civilizatrice can be a heavy burden.
Had events gone as planned France would by now enjoy the benefits of real ale, steak and kidney pie and chicken tikka masala. Almost all members of the Arsenal football team would qualify to play for England. And France would have the pleasure of trashing the Australians at le cricket. Alas, it was no to be - history sometimes takes a wrong turn.
The Embassy of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (but not France) hopes that in future editions of the otherwise splendid calendar, references to 'invasion' will be removed. In the meanwhile it takes this opportunity to wish members of the Embassy of the Czech Republic a happy New Year as it does also to members of the Embassy of France, to whom it is also copying this Note Verbale.
The Embassy of the United Kingdom avails itself of this opportunity to renew to the Embassy of the Czech Republic the assurances of its highest consideration.
BRITISH EMBASSY
TEHRAN
4 JANUARY 2011
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