(no subject)

[tongues4hands]

 i remember the first time i inhaled it all the way. 
i gave into the cigarette. litte puffs like my little steps.

i let the smoke swell in my lungs 
and close around my airwaves. 
i don't know what is so glamorous about smoking. 
i don't know if it the promise of its appetite supresent. 
like if u smoke this your legs will match
and be paper thin sticks.

maybe its because so many people 
that i idolize 
let that elusive smoke waft from their mouths. 
like edie sedgwyck and trendy kids outside of shows.

i spend my days, shaking  
i dont feel the nicotine seep into my blood, 
i dont feel anything at all.

i find no relief in the smoke.
 i find no skinny legs. 
so why do i continue these baby steps towards addiction 
and puff puff puff?