i feel so alone in my crowded world
so tonight i talked to bri stitely, it's been probably six months, i miss her, even though we never really talked much or hung out when she was here, but she was one of the nicest people i've ever met. for example... one day in english i was sitting next to her and this guy, adam richardson, i think his name was richardson, anyways, it is in this story, so he was making fun of me, calling me stupid and such, and she said "i think it's funny how people call sean stupid, yet he's really actually smart" and i think about that moment all the time. nobody's ever stood up for me before, especially people who don't know me too well, and tonight i thanked her for that, because when she said that it made me feel that much better that i could continue my day, continue my life. she makes me sad, though, she always has, normally if i saw somebody wearing all black and looking like the "goth" stereotype, i would call them a fucking ignorant emo kid, but not her, she was always true. i wish i had talked to her when she was here, we probably would have been good friends, or at least she could be mine. i told her about my friend ray, i thought she would have already heard by now, but apparently not, i felt so bad for being the one to tell her. i miss ray, i miss ray alot, but in time he will come back, he will be back to fight another day, wage another war with simple minded people, back again some day to save all of man kind, back again to paint over my fear, back again, to save my life.