why doesn't it work when i do it?

[tonguelestalker]

you ever try to make people happy? do you always fail? well, i would answer yes to these questions personally. i don't know why, but no matter how hard i try, i can never make anybody's life any better, it's like people always settle for second best with me. it's like they're trying to say "well, it didn't work out with anybody else, and you're the only person that is a loser enough to give a shit so i'll settle with you" god, i don't know what the hell is going on anymore, it's like the fucking world just disappeared and i'm left in a black void, with only voices and memories. what's truth? why do we care? i hate this, i constantly feel nervous, like i should be doing something, but i don't know what or where or when or why. the only time that i don't feel completely worthless is when i'm drunk or high, so why do people hate it so much, shouldn't somebody want me to be happy? anybody? i want something, but i still don't know what. why am i so lonely, yet i hate being around people? or better yet, why do i hate people so much if i'm lonely? am i insane or am i just thinking on a higher level, what really makes truth true? who really knows, maybe i'm right, you can't prove me wrong, but if my truth is truly true, then i ask you this, why isn't everybody else as lonely as i am?!?!?!? IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!!! or is it? maybe i'm just selfish, sorry

i'm waiting for the train,
the subway that only goes one way,
the stupid thing that'll come and pull us apart,
and make everybody late,
you spent everything you had,
wanted everything to stop that bad,
now i'm a crushed credit card registered to smith,
not the name that you call me with,
you turn white like a saint,
i'm tired of dancing on a pot of gold flake paint,
oh we're so very precious, you and i,
and everything that you do makes me wanna die,
oh i just told the biggest lie,
the biggest lie