Beyond Mitt's Underwear: Part 3: The Preexistence, Creation, and Plan for Salvation

[tongodeon]

Father in Heaven (Elohiem) and His wives live near the star called Kolob on a pair of magic stones. They were once mortal humans just like we are and have retained their physical bodies of flesh and bone, but instead of blood they have “spirit matter, a substance which is more refined and pure and glorious than blood”. At the time of creation

Comments

[ianvass]

The closest thing to “Mormon Hell” is the outer darkness which is reserved for Satan and his demons, “those who are found filthy still”, and Mormon apostates who knew God’s light and refused it by leaving the church.

Also not strictly true. Just because someone left the Church does not mean they are as bad as Cain and Satan. It takes serious light and knowledge to rebel to the degree that they qualify for that level of condemnation. Baptism into the church alone is not sufficient. "Denying the Holy Ghost" requires an unshakable witness and a willingness to crucify the Savior again, meaning that if you lived at the time of Jesus, you would know He was the Son of God, and would help nail Him on the cross anyhow because you hate Him so much.

Joseph Smith taught that men live on the moon, are six feet tall, and dress like Quakers, and that the sun was also inhabited by extraterrestrials, but the modern Church does not emphasize this teaching.

*snerk*

OR he was speaking tongue-in-cheek. They had not invented emoticons back then, so when it got written down, perhaps they forget to mention the grin.

[onceler]

*snerk*

OR he was speaking tongue-in-cheek. They had not invented emoticons back then, so when it got written down, perhaps they forget to mention the grin.

*SNERK*. Maybe the whole Book of Mormon was tongue-in-cheek.

[theweaselking]

Given ianvass's argument, it's possible the entire Gospel of Jesus is "tongue in cheek", and none of that whole "son of god, died for your sins, changes the rules of the Jews" thing was at all serious!

Of course, he can't explain why SOME of it is "tongue in cheek" and other parts are "divine truth", because he has no tool to evaluate truth of falsity beyond special pleading: He thinks some things are true because he wants them to be, and other things are not true because he doesn't want them to be, and there is absolutely no difference between these things except his personal opinion of them.