Expiring Car Warranty Call = Dura-Lube Insurance Scam
Telemarketing works. It doesn't work percentage-wise since most people hang up, but it does work in that blowing through the hang-ups quickly means that you can quickly get to the one-in-100 who will buy your product, and then you've made a sale. Do you hate telemarketers? If you want to hurt them, don't hang up on them. See how much of their time you can waste. If you don't have the patience to talk to someone, my favorite trick is to say "oh yeah, just a minute", leave the phone off the hook, and just walk away.
I've been getting robocalls from a company claiming that my car insurance is about to expire, and I've been answering them. (I suggest you do too.) I pushed whatever number they told me to push and it connected me to a human who asked for my name, car, and year. I told them my name was Avocado Thomas ("yes, as in the fruit, my parents were hippies") and that I had a 2009 Prius (which definitely wouldn't have an expired warranty even if I had one). Then I pretended to be as enthusiastic about their insurance offer as possible, so that they'd keep transferring me up the chain to the high-ranking salespeople whose time I really wanted to waste.
The great thing about the computer system is that the salespeople's scripts say that they have to use your first name a lot to build confidence, and the name "Avocado" is right there on their screen becuase the first-tier operator put it there. A few mid-level operators explain the system: they've got an incredibly limited warranty which is going to be difficult to collect on, and am I interested? "Absolutely", Avocado Thomas continues to insist, so they eventually transfer me up to the top-level sales guy who wants to take my credit card number.
"Not so fast", says Avocado, "would you mind sending me the insurance contract so that I can read it over first?"
"Sure, once I get your credit card and we'll send all that paperwork out to you."
"I don't think you understand. I want to read the contract, then buy your insurance."
"No problem, I'll send you out the contract, I just need to get your credit card."
"If I give you my credit card you're going to charge it, right?"
"Yes, and then we mail you the contract that you're asking for."
"That's not what I want. I want to read the contract so that I can figure out what I'm buying, then buy it once I know."
"But we can't send you the contract before you buy it. We can't give you something of value before you've bought it."
"But you're not selling me a contract. You're selling me your agreement to be a party to that contract. Just send me the piece of paper that tells me what we're both going to be agreeing to."
"Our company doesn't work that way."
"Does any company work that way?"
"Lots of companies work that way."
"Lots of companies refuse to tell their customers what they're purchasing before they purchase it? Name one."
*long pause*
"Are you interested in this insurance deal or not?"
"Absolutely, what you've described sounds very interesting."
"Then why won't you give me your credit card number so that we can make this deal?"
"Because your company isn't selling what you described, they're selling a contract that you won't show me until I buy it."
Total amount of his time that I wasted: about 45 minutes. Total LJ posts earned: 1. I *did* get a company name out of the salesman; it's the Dura-Lube company, the same insurance that's being sold here or here or being called crap here, here, and here.
I've been getting robocalls from a company claiming that my car insurance is about to expire, and I've been answering them. (I suggest you do too.) I pushed whatever number they told me to push and it connected me to a human who asked for my name, car, and year. I told them my name was Avocado Thomas ("yes, as in the fruit, my parents were hippies") and that I had a 2009 Prius (which definitely wouldn't have an expired warranty even if I had one). Then I pretended to be as enthusiastic about their insurance offer as possible, so that they'd keep transferring me up the chain to the high-ranking salespeople whose time I really wanted to waste.
The great thing about the computer system is that the salespeople's scripts say that they have to use your first name a lot to build confidence, and the name "Avocado" is right there on their screen becuase the first-tier operator put it there. A few mid-level operators explain the system: they've got an incredibly limited warranty which is going to be difficult to collect on, and am I interested? "Absolutely", Avocado Thomas continues to insist, so they eventually transfer me up to the top-level sales guy who wants to take my credit card number.
"Not so fast", says Avocado, "would you mind sending me the insurance contract so that I can read it over first?"
"Sure, once I get your credit card and we'll send all that paperwork out to you."
"I don't think you understand. I want to read the contract, then buy your insurance."
"No problem, I'll send you out the contract, I just need to get your credit card."
"If I give you my credit card you're going to charge it, right?"
"Yes, and then we mail you the contract that you're asking for."
"That's not what I want. I want to read the contract so that I can figure out what I'm buying, then buy it once I know."
"But we can't send you the contract before you buy it. We can't give you something of value before you've bought it."
"But you're not selling me a contract. You're selling me your agreement to be a party to that contract. Just send me the piece of paper that tells me what we're both going to be agreeing to."
"Our company doesn't work that way."
"Does any company work that way?"
"Lots of companies work that way."
"Lots of companies refuse to tell their customers what they're purchasing before they purchase it? Name one."
*long pause*
"Are you interested in this insurance deal or not?"
"Absolutely, what you've described sounds very interesting."
"Then why won't you give me your credit card number so that we can make this deal?"
"Because your company isn't selling what you described, they're selling a contract that you won't show me until I buy it."
Total amount of his time that I wasted: about 45 minutes. Total LJ posts earned: 1. I *did* get a company name out of the salesman; it's the Dura-Lube company, the same insurance that's being sold here or here or being called crap here, here, and here.