"We're not leaving, so long as I'm the President. That would be a huge mistake. It would send an unbelievably terrible signal to reformers across the region. It would say we've abandoned our desire to change the conditions that create terror. It would give the terrorists a safe haven from which to launch attacks. It would embolden Iran. It would embolden extremists." -
GWB 8/21/2006 Bush's new assertion -- and it is apparently going to be his central message in the run-up to the November elections -- is that pulling out of Iraq would embolden terrorists and lead them to strike here again. -
Washington Post I'll use an analogy here because boy howdy do I love analogies.
Let's say that after decades of running a
snake-free airline, the President decides that El AL *might* be thinking of allowing snakes to be shipped as cargo. And also the coffee they're serving is bad, and their customers deserve better coffee.
So we freeze El Al's assets, send a team of Special Forces into Israel to kidnap Haim Romano, send Samuel L Jackson as the chief of security, and start serving quality American coffee. And suddenly El Al flight cabins
fill up with snakes.
Yesterday Bush announced that if we pull Samuel L Jackson off the plane the snakes will strike. This is true. It's also true that if we leave Samuel L Jackson on the plane the snakes will strike. Serve coffee? Snakes will strike. Show in-flight movie of "Herbie Goes Banannas?" Snakes will strike. Why? Because there are MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE and THAT'S WHAT SNAKES DO.
I have a request for George Bush: stop telling us what will cause the snakes to strike and start telling us how to get the motherfucking snakes off our motherfucking plane. Stop scaring us with the worst-case scenario and start telling us how to achieve the best-case scenario. "Keep Samuel L Jackson on the plane until they stop striking" is not a valid answer because it explains what, not how.