much too much
It's been a long time since I've maintained this and a whole lot has happened. I suppose I'm getting back into this because I need to vent or something. I noticed I had a new friend of [16teardrops] which surprises me because I'm pretty used to being hated by almost everyone, but I'm glad. Or maybe she [I'm guessing that 16teardrops is a she from the name] just laughs at me. Anyway on with the news.
Anybody that was at graduation heard the ***load of scholarships that I got so there's no need to mention that. I am planning to go to the University of Alabama on pretty much full ride, my spending money and food isn't covered.
I got a grand total of 1,735 dollars in graduation money. I was surprised. It covers the rest of the cash I need though.
I got a laptop for college, though nobody really cares about that.
I had a car wreck sometime ago. My black 2004 dodge neon was totalled. The 17 year old Dustin Goodwin ran the redlight at an intersection on 280 and I couldn't stop in time so I was going to ram into his passenger side, but I swerved to the right and hit the side of his front end. It's a good thing I did too 'cause he was with some girl and she probably woulda died if I hadn't. It still enrages me that the witness who was coming around the curve at the time fingered me, not only that, the witness and Dustin Goodwin knew each other. So I got royally screwed on that one. I ended up being the most injured party and had to wear a knee immobilizer on my left leg for a while, not to mention hitch rides with Tiffiany Tolbert until the end of the school year. We were friends though so it didn't matter. Though a lot of whispers started going around, but whatever, everybody that counted knew they weren't true. Fortunately though, a couple of days ago I got a brand new silver 2005 dodge neon sxt. I like it. Oh yeah, I have a shelby county tag because I take care of all my car stuff while I'm here at my mom's in shelby county. I decided a long time ago that if my dad ever threatens to take my keys again I'd tell him off and just go out somewhere for a while since he's got nothing to do with paying for my car. He said he'd get me a car a long time ago, but he never did. He got himself a car that he let me use once in a while, and it sucks. He can't kick me out, he lives with my grandparents and they keep telling me the only reason they've put up with him these last 11 years is because I needed a place.
I was happy going out with Stephanie Fleming, she even thought I was good looking, nobody ever thinks I'm good looking, but after school was out we didn't really have any time for each other anymore. We were both becoming more and more lonely since we couldn't see each other anymore so I decided that I needed to break up with her for both our sakes. It was sad. I didn't really want to break up with her since it's not like we hate each other or are bad for each other or anything. It was just lonely for us both. It was sad. We both cried. Yea, I'm a sissy. I cry sometimes, rarely though. But, we still want to talk to each other so it isn't so bad. It isn't like she's never going to see me again or me her. Who knows? Maybe she'll go to Alabama too and we'll get the chance to go out again then or maybe things might work out sooner than that. Who knows? I still just wish things could've just worked out, but things just aren't that easy.
Tiffiany Tolbert, what can I say, she's hurt me who knows how many damn times. She used to hurt me a long time ago when she went out with her ex [details in other posts I think], and she kept telling how she kinda liked me and strung me along. When I decided that wasn't going anywhere and quit talking to her much, her father walks up to me at a basketball game, claps me on the shoulder, and asks me to do him a favor and not give up. She was really sad back then due to constant emotional abuse stuff from her old boyfriend. They finally broke up sometime ago though. I think it was in early May. That's a weird phonecall to get at 11:15 on a sunday night. With her crying, because she broke up with him, even though she was glad.... whatever. I'm pretty sure she wants to go out with me now, I'm not a total idiot. She hangs out too much for it to be anything else and she hints a bit. Anyway, over the past couple weeks she's been hinting around that she wanted to be with me if I broke up with Steph, and I had been telling her about how the stuff with Steph was not working out anymore and I'd probably have to break up with her soon. Tiffiany went to Panama City with her friends Ashley Haynes and Mallory Rhodes this week and should be on her way back at the time of this writing. I'm not sure what I want to do though because I'm sorta close to her but damn at the all the bad times. The rejections earlier this year and always being the second choice. Later, even her telling me some details about what her and her old boyfriend did together, that was a nice sting there, even if it was unintentional. The being dumped for her fucking horses back in 9th grade [which I later found out wasn't really what the note said it was, but that's still what it said so that's how I remember it.] The latest one is that I've been talking with her sometimes while she was at Panama City and she told me about her and Ashley were down at the pool by their hotel and she made out with some guy. Even with all the stuff we'd talked about and what she'd said to me. So, I was upset by this latest one since I was considering going out with her at the time and I really debate whether I should just tell her to hit the effin bricks and never speak to me again or what. I mean what is it, she'll only care about me if I'm standing there and just forget about me the rest of the time or whenever somebody else is around and he might be better looking than me or what? Granted, we aren't going out, but if things are working toward that then.... I don't know. Am I wrong here? Should I be angry or sad or both or what? I don't know. I don't have a lot of experience with this.
I'm tired of being hurt just in general, but it'll be fine. It's one of those things the world demands, a little bit of pain and anguish here and there. The past couple days have been weird, but I'll change and work with it. I just don't know what I want to do yet.
I guess I'm back into posting now since venting makes things feel a little bit better. But to whoever reads this, laugh at it or post and make fun of me or whatever you want to do and tell your friends to do the same if you want.
I think I'm going to go outside now. It's been a weird week.
Anybody that was at graduation heard the ***load of scholarships that I got so there's no need to mention that. I am planning to go to the University of Alabama on pretty much full ride, my spending money and food isn't covered.
I got a grand total of 1,735 dollars in graduation money. I was surprised. It covers the rest of the cash I need though.
I got a laptop for college, though nobody really cares about that.
I had a car wreck sometime ago. My black 2004 dodge neon was totalled. The 17 year old Dustin Goodwin ran the redlight at an intersection on 280 and I couldn't stop in time so I was going to ram into his passenger side, but I swerved to the right and hit the side of his front end. It's a good thing I did too 'cause he was with some girl and she probably woulda died if I hadn't. It still enrages me that the witness who was coming around the curve at the time fingered me, not only that, the witness and Dustin Goodwin knew each other. So I got royally screwed on that one. I ended up being the most injured party and had to wear a knee immobilizer on my left leg for a while, not to mention hitch rides with Tiffiany Tolbert until the end of the school year. We were friends though so it didn't matter. Though a lot of whispers started going around, but whatever, everybody that counted knew they weren't true. Fortunately though, a couple of days ago I got a brand new silver 2005 dodge neon sxt. I like it. Oh yeah, I have a shelby county tag because I take care of all my car stuff while I'm here at my mom's in shelby county. I decided a long time ago that if my dad ever threatens to take my keys again I'd tell him off and just go out somewhere for a while since he's got nothing to do with paying for my car. He said he'd get me a car a long time ago, but he never did. He got himself a car that he let me use once in a while, and it sucks. He can't kick me out, he lives with my grandparents and they keep telling me the only reason they've put up with him these last 11 years is because I needed a place.
I was happy going out with Stephanie Fleming, she even thought I was good looking, nobody ever thinks I'm good looking, but after school was out we didn't really have any time for each other anymore. We were both becoming more and more lonely since we couldn't see each other anymore so I decided that I needed to break up with her for both our sakes. It was sad. I didn't really want to break up with her since it's not like we hate each other or are bad for each other or anything. It was just lonely for us both. It was sad. We both cried. Yea, I'm a sissy. I cry sometimes, rarely though. But, we still want to talk to each other so it isn't so bad. It isn't like she's never going to see me again or me her. Who knows? Maybe she'll go to Alabama too and we'll get the chance to go out again then or maybe things might work out sooner than that. Who knows? I still just wish things could've just worked out, but things just aren't that easy.
Tiffiany Tolbert, what can I say, she's hurt me who knows how many damn times. She used to hurt me a long time ago when she went out with her ex [details in other posts I think], and she kept telling how she kinda liked me and strung me along. When I decided that wasn't going anywhere and quit talking to her much, her father walks up to me at a basketball game, claps me on the shoulder, and asks me to do him a favor and not give up. She was really sad back then due to constant emotional abuse stuff from her old boyfriend. They finally broke up sometime ago though. I think it was in early May. That's a weird phonecall to get at 11:15 on a sunday night. With her crying, because she broke up with him, even though she was glad.... whatever. I'm pretty sure she wants to go out with me now, I'm not a total idiot. She hangs out too much for it to be anything else and she hints a bit. Anyway, over the past couple weeks she's been hinting around that she wanted to be with me if I broke up with Steph, and I had been telling her about how the stuff with Steph was not working out anymore and I'd probably have to break up with her soon. Tiffiany went to Panama City with her friends Ashley Haynes and Mallory Rhodes this week and should be on her way back at the time of this writing. I'm not sure what I want to do though because I'm sorta close to her but damn at the all the bad times. The rejections earlier this year and always being the second choice. Later, even her telling me some details about what her and her old boyfriend did together, that was a nice sting there, even if it was unintentional. The being dumped for her fucking horses back in 9th grade [which I later found out wasn't really what the note said it was, but that's still what it said so that's how I remember it.] The latest one is that I've been talking with her sometimes while she was at Panama City and she told me about her and Ashley were down at the pool by their hotel and she made out with some guy. Even with all the stuff we'd talked about and what she'd said to me. So, I was upset by this latest one since I was considering going out with her at the time and I really debate whether I should just tell her to hit the effin bricks and never speak to me again or what. I mean what is it, she'll only care about me if I'm standing there and just forget about me the rest of the time or whenever somebody else is around and he might be better looking than me or what? Granted, we aren't going out, but if things are working toward that then.... I don't know. Am I wrong here? Should I be angry or sad or both or what? I don't know. I don't have a lot of experience with this.
I'm tired of being hurt just in general, but it'll be fine. It's one of those things the world demands, a little bit of pain and anguish here and there. The past couple days have been weird, but I'll change and work with it. I just don't know what I want to do yet.
I guess I'm back into posting now since venting makes things feel a little bit better. But to whoever reads this, laugh at it or post and make fun of me or whatever you want to do and tell your friends to do the same if you want.
I think I'm going to go outside now. It's been a weird week.