Comments | tongari: [fic] never is a promise

tongari

[fic] never is a promise

Mar 09, 2004 10:41

why am I not studying Mandarin? I should be studying Mandarin. then I can read Chinese PoT scans!! and pass my tests, ah feck :/ oh well, it's done, I edit mistakes later, point out if you spot any :)

NEVER IS A PROMISE
level :: general
feat. :: Rikkai
spoilers :: Genius 215
summary :: Kirihara does good, for once.

( he`s wondering, isn`t friendship something like a promise, too? )

Comments 25

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tongari March 10 2004, 08:10:20 UTC

hee, why is the elf a mystery? I like him because he's pretty straightforward: mostly vicious and occasionally cute! :3

thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked it :)

cirnelle March 9 2004, 03:34:19 UTC

I really adore your writing. This was so lovely, very elegantly written, great characterisation of Rikkai, and so sad. <3

tongari March 10 2004, 08:17:13 UTC

thanks :) aaah, Rikkai inspires either pure tragedy or pure farce, it would seem. as evidenced by your icon xD <3 ya back :)

muzivitch March 9 2004, 05:16:10 UTC

*huggles the elf* I love you Kiri, really I do.

What I really liked about this was how even Kirihara, despite how his somewhat clueless outlook, realized that they weren't the same team anymore. And I loved the reason he got between Sanada and Renji. Because unspoken promises are sometimes the one that can be the most destructive if broken.

Favorite line:

Now the warmest and strongest of them is gone, and the others have just gotten colder instead, and Yanagi's eyes seem to have shut forever.

Because it's so sad! And so very plausible that they've frozen themselves, sealed themselves off, just so they won't break and fall apart.

tongari March 10 2004, 08:33:46 UTC

oh, Kiri is clueless like no tomorrow. and I am so glad you love him. elf needs love! :3

that unspoken promise was there in the flashback pic of the Rikkai Power Triangle, I swear. I had a batty theory that Yuki is the one who laughs for all three of them - Renji mysteriously lost the ability to smile, and Sanada probably never could - and now he's not there, and the rest of them don't have someone to cue them when it's ok to laugh any more. glad that the reason seemed plausible :) thanks for reading!

caillen March 9 2004, 05:24:31 UTC

*LOVES YOU**loves akaya*

tongari March 10 2004, 08:34:42 UTC

*molests your icon*

his biggest mistake is not summoning a Fuji-remote-control, along with the Fuji..

caillen March 10 2004, 09:05:54 UTC

well yes XD it must help muchly in trying to control teh other boy from hell. have you seen 124? haven't ;_;

tongari March 10 2004, 09:33:31 UTC

not yet, therefore ;_________________;
eee FUJIKIRI HEE <3

I have however seen screencaps of Hughes in pink pajamas, and Daisoto in blue, here. and speed-read 3 Samurai Deeper Kyos just for a glimpse of Sanada Yukimura *is insane and MUST continue assignment now xD*

Thread 7

dilettantka March 9 2004, 06:19:21 UTC

Gah. The beginning of this particularly just hit me very hard and tears came to my eyes. It's all just so fucking unfair, and that's how life really is I guess.

Constructive criticism if you want it, or rather, just an observation.
The beginning is very taut, and in the middle I feel as though the descriptions get looser and more drawn out. The impact is reduced somewhat as we get more of Kirihara's own perspective.

I absolutely love your writing. *still a bit weepy*

tongari March 10 2004, 08:50:46 UTC

I guess I made Rikkai take firm hold of the phrase 'bad things happen to good people' and run very far with it.

thanks for the crit :) I started it without a particular narrator in mind, then Kiri hijacked it without caring what the effect of his decidedly simpler, narrower point of view would be. elf is persistent. bad elf helped made Eda cry! bad, bad, elf! *locks him up with a smiling Fuji for entertaining punishment*

am really glad that you liked it. thanks :)