(no subject)
So, 33 weeks ago was the last time I wrote in this. Oh, blah blah blah. I feel like I'm going fucking crazy. So many things in my life have changed in the span of a month. I'm newly single (not so fabulous), had my first experience with a black man... pretty much almost fell in love with him. And now I'm stuck in a rut. Great, right?
Well, Jason and I broke up after almost two years together. Actually I broke up with him, but that's not important. We're friends now but it's really awkward. Really, really awkward. Okay, we aren't really just "friends"... I mean, we hang out all the time and occasionally have sex when we're wasted. It's crazy. I know he's still in love with me... he tells me all the time. I just see him as my best friend. I know I'm fucked up. I miss him most of the time. I don't know what to say about that whole situation.
I met a boy off of myspace (UGH, I know) like, three years ago and we never hung out. Well, he was in town the first two weeks of January and we agreed to actually hang out for the first time ever. Things went really well. So well that things kind of happened and I kind of have this emotional attachment to him now that is just ridiculous. He left back to California, which made me really sad, but we kept in touch everyday on the phone or with texting. He told me that didn't plan on hooking up with anybody until he sees me again (which is supposed to be in mid March when he comes back to visit) because he really, really likes me. Now, I don't know if he's just another one of those boys that are full of SHIT, but I haven't talked to him since Saturday. Ugh, whatever. I just have a bad feeling. I'm not going to look into it too much. I'll just handle this the way I handle every other falling out. I'll pretend he doesn't exist until:
a. he contacts me and apologizes for not talking to me as much as he usually does.
b. i get really wasted and drunk dial/text him.
Yeah, that's how I do. I just don't want to care anymore. I want to be asexual. I know I kind of rushed into it with this guy, but I really felt something for him... three years ago and three weeks ago. He captivated me and I'm not sure why. We had chemistry, actual fucking chemistry.
Well, whatever. It'll happen if it's meant to.
School is going good so far. I hope. I'm kind of behind in photography. Ugh. I'm taking yoga, which is pretty cool. I don't know. I'm just hoping 2008 will be my year. Last year really sucked. We'll see.
Jade
Well, Jason and I broke up after almost two years together. Actually I broke up with him, but that's not important. We're friends now but it's really awkward. Really, really awkward. Okay, we aren't really just "friends"... I mean, we hang out all the time and occasionally have sex when we're wasted. It's crazy. I know he's still in love with me... he tells me all the time. I just see him as my best friend. I know I'm fucked up. I miss him most of the time. I don't know what to say about that whole situation.
I met a boy off of myspace (UGH, I know) like, three years ago and we never hung out. Well, he was in town the first two weeks of January and we agreed to actually hang out for the first time ever. Things went really well. So well that things kind of happened and I kind of have this emotional attachment to him now that is just ridiculous. He left back to California, which made me really sad, but we kept in touch everyday on the phone or with texting. He told me that didn't plan on hooking up with anybody until he sees me again (which is supposed to be in mid March when he comes back to visit) because he really, really likes me. Now, I don't know if he's just another one of those boys that are full of SHIT, but I haven't talked to him since Saturday. Ugh, whatever. I just have a bad feeling. I'm not going to look into it too much. I'll just handle this the way I handle every other falling out. I'll pretend he doesn't exist until:
a. he contacts me and apologizes for not talking to me as much as he usually does.
b. i get really wasted and drunk dial/text him.
Yeah, that's how I do. I just don't want to care anymore. I want to be asexual. I know I kind of rushed into it with this guy, but I really felt something for him... three years ago and three weeks ago. He captivated me and I'm not sure why. We had chemistry, actual fucking chemistry.
Well, whatever. It'll happen if it's meant to.
School is going good so far. I hope. I'm kind of behind in photography. Ugh. I'm taking yoga, which is pretty cool. I don't know. I'm just hoping 2008 will be my year. Last year really sucked. We'll see.
Jade