Wondering how I manage to smile, even though I can't pay my rent.
3 out of 6 of the replies to my previous journal entry were Transformers quotes. All were positive remarks. This makes me happy.
In the past few weeks I have:
Adjusted to the new apartment :]
Had trouble with my Autobot. :[
Financially struggled. :[
Attended my father's wedding to his girlfriend of the last few years, Julie. :]
This caused additional finance issues. :[
Came back home to a dead Autobot. :[
Was informed that Arizona had put a levy on my paycheck. :[
Returned to work and was informed an awesome bonus structure was approved :]
My Autobot's battery (energon) was replaced courtesy of my father :]
Overall? The positive outweighs the negative, at least emotionally. Everything is going to be all right. :] However, due to being increasingly vulnerable from such stress, I have experienced extreme emotions varying from an absolute feeling of love of Mandy to incredible sadness. Both have resulted in plenty of tears. I miss my mom... and I miss my grandma. My dad had a picture of her he took to the wedding... wanted it with him during the ceremony. Everytime I think on it, I want so badly to talk to my dad and tell him how much I treasure him as a father and how I feel I want to carve my image out of him. I believe it is just a built in barrier that prevents the both of us from getting close on a level where we can talk about things such as our mothers dying. As much as this bugs me, I am almost fond of the unspoken bond I feel between us. I have been very back and forth with everything in my life recently. I am usually so stoic but I keep tilting from one side to the other.
I have a strong feeling that once September passes, stability will return, and things will improve.
In the past few weeks I have:
Adjusted to the new apartment :]
Had trouble with my Autobot. :[
Financially struggled. :[
Attended my father's wedding to his girlfriend of the last few years, Julie. :]
This caused additional finance issues. :[
Came back home to a dead Autobot. :[
Was informed that Arizona had put a levy on my paycheck. :[
Returned to work and was informed an awesome bonus structure was approved :]
My Autobot's battery (energon) was replaced courtesy of my father :]
Overall? The positive outweighs the negative, at least emotionally. Everything is going to be all right. :] However, due to being increasingly vulnerable from such stress, I have experienced extreme emotions varying from an absolute feeling of love of Mandy to incredible sadness. Both have resulted in plenty of tears. I miss my mom... and I miss my grandma. My dad had a picture of her he took to the wedding... wanted it with him during the ceremony. Everytime I think on it, I want so badly to talk to my dad and tell him how much I treasure him as a father and how I feel I want to carve my image out of him. I believe it is just a built in barrier that prevents the both of us from getting close on a level where we can talk about things such as our mothers dying. As much as this bugs me, I am almost fond of the unspoken bond I feel between us. I have been very back and forth with everything in my life recently. I am usually so stoic but I keep tilting from one side to the other.
I have a strong feeling that once September passes, stability will return, and things will improve.