What's become of me?... RANT!!!
What's become of me?
I was once this beautiful girl, small, twisted and strung out.
Now that all the chemicals have stopped working I've become a woman with a swell of hips and a soft rounded belly. If I were to revert to snorting and dropping every man made drug thrown at me I'd be back to that old beauty... for these days beauty is measured by weight.
No matter how you get there it's considered desirable.
Put a horse faced skinny troll against a Botticelli beauty these days and the oat fed Mare would win out hands down.
It's about bones now... it's about flat bellies and narrow hips.
There is no room left for curves..... only crystal meth and crash diets.
I'm disgusted by it!!!!
I will NOT live my life around carbs or lack there of..... I will not deny myself a juicy cheeseburger because I'm afraid of what it might do to my waist line.
My waist line is disgusting to most by todays standards so why worry about it now... although I'm only a size 8
I'm all of 135lbs and I love every fucking inch of me.
I might hide my stomach when I'm in bed with my man but that's only because I've been bombarded with images of these starving little nothings that grace the pages of every magazine I read.
I'm fucking beautiful....I adore my curves..... I'm just so afraid that he won't see them as I see them so I hide behind the covers and the pillows and whatever else I can get my hands on.
I know I have that pretty face that so many talk of when referring to overweight people but I do have a damn great body too.
I like myself naked.
I adore myself naked...... I look at myself often in the mirror and say damn you're hot....I have these amazing curves, hips, a waist and well ok I don't have an ass but if I arch just right it's beautiful too.
I have absolutely beautiful tits that don't sag too much considering I'm a D cup..... they still look straight ahead, with the occasional glance down..... LMAO.
I'am terribly lazy...... that's my biggest problem. If I weren't such a sloth when it comes to exercise I'd be hot as hell..... but I like my down time too much to even think of exercise.... or walking or shit ups or whatever else people suggest.
I'd much rather sit and contemplate life and the people around me and the world beyond me. I can't write or think if I'm in a gym.
GYMS........ omg the unholy church of vanity..... those people are already perfect they don't need to be invaded by my flab.
I'd feel like an athesist at a catholic mass.
I'd opt for a starvation diet before entering one of those anti-perfect cathedrals.
My god I'm afraid I might lose an IQ point or two by just walking through the door.
I've already been dumbed down enough by working in a hair salon I don't think I can spare the brain cells for regular visits to a gym.
Then again maybe I could do it...... and maintain my bitter outlook on the body by Gold's brain by mattel people that surround me. I do abhore my self at times..... I'm much too good to go to shit but I'm much to lazy to do a damn thing about it.
All in all....... I'm happy with my pouch. I like to rub it when I'm wearing my PJs..... I think it's cute.... I like to pat it from time to time as a reminder that I'm not an Olger.
I guess you could say I'm happy with me..... I could be better but I'm not disgusted. I'm satisfyed... I'm cute.... and I'm me.
I could be better and often I desire to be one of those bone thin, hip hugging wearing beauties with their halter tops and long bouncing hair...... then I snap back to reality and notice the girl next to "that" girl ..... the one I'd like to look like....... and then I glance around the room and see another "that" girl and then another, MY GOD, they all look alike..... everyone of them..... they walk, talk, dress, and fall into a huge grouping of abercrombie and fitch, gap ad manquines.
I don't want to blend into any crowd EVER!!!
I don't want to become another face passed over.... I want people to stop for just a second and ponder me. I want them to realize that I'm different, because I'AM different.
I'am unique..... remember that people...
I have soul... I have a deep awareness of the things that happen around me and the people that make those things happen.
I feel people..... I feel their pain and I feel their happiness and I feel their dissappointment....or I watch it rather register across their faces from moment to moment.... you can read volumns in the faces of those around you if only you take the time to notice.... which we often neglect to do.. too absorbed in our own dramas.
All too often I feel their anger, sadness, and above all I can feel a fake emotion..... a slight grin, a hello, a hug... I can feel those dissconnectd niceities..... they sicken me the most.
Don't greet me if your hello is as hollow as you.
I'm so full of colors, and emotions, circles, hard lines, opinions, anger, love, passion, soft sighs, sweet moans, amazing ideas and words.... I harbor a love for strangers..... the downtrodden, the hard luck losers, the handicapped, the twisted hand of god works wonders in these people.
They know so much more of faith then you will ever know you perfectly healthy assholes that take everyday for granted.
They are this world's last saints..... the hobos the bums the shoeless homeless loveless forgotten beings..... you should thank them, for taking your place...... the world needs them to remind us of our own fortune... Today you're ignoring them..... tomorrow by some twist of fate you will become them.
Ok I got so off subject there....
The moral of this whole damn diatribe is that you... YOU... everyone of you... abercrombie/mall fashion slaves, college budget watching, goodwill plundering, punk rock "I don't give a shit" assholes... all need to stop looking at people and really start seeing them.... it's not about how much flesh they have on their bones, what they adorn themselves with, or what fucking frat/sorority they are in ..... it's about humanity....
From now on....... EVERYTIME you meet someone..... or pass an unsavoury charcter on the street...... or even if you're asked for money and you don't think you should give it...... because he's got to be a crack head or an alcoholic or a junkie....... THINK about it.....
For the Grace of God, there go I.......
FOR THE GRACE OF GOD.......
THERE GO I.....
and don't think that you aren't a tragedy away from it my friends....
You never know when you'll have to depend on the kindness of strangers.
I was once this beautiful girl, small, twisted and strung out.
Now that all the chemicals have stopped working I've become a woman with a swell of hips and a soft rounded belly. If I were to revert to snorting and dropping every man made drug thrown at me I'd be back to that old beauty... for these days beauty is measured by weight.
No matter how you get there it's considered desirable.
Put a horse faced skinny troll against a Botticelli beauty these days and the oat fed Mare would win out hands down.
It's about bones now... it's about flat bellies and narrow hips.
There is no room left for curves..... only crystal meth and crash diets.
I'm disgusted by it!!!!
I will NOT live my life around carbs or lack there of..... I will not deny myself a juicy cheeseburger because I'm afraid of what it might do to my waist line.
My waist line is disgusting to most by todays standards so why worry about it now... although I'm only a size 8
I'm all of 135lbs and I love every fucking inch of me.
I might hide my stomach when I'm in bed with my man but that's only because I've been bombarded with images of these starving little nothings that grace the pages of every magazine I read.
I'm fucking beautiful....I adore my curves..... I'm just so afraid that he won't see them as I see them so I hide behind the covers and the pillows and whatever else I can get my hands on.
I know I have that pretty face that so many talk of when referring to overweight people but I do have a damn great body too.
I like myself naked.
I adore myself naked...... I look at myself often in the mirror and say damn you're hot....I have these amazing curves, hips, a waist and well ok I don't have an ass but if I arch just right it's beautiful too.
I have absolutely beautiful tits that don't sag too much considering I'm a D cup..... they still look straight ahead, with the occasional glance down..... LMAO.
I'am terribly lazy...... that's my biggest problem. If I weren't such a sloth when it comes to exercise I'd be hot as hell..... but I like my down time too much to even think of exercise.... or walking or shit ups or whatever else people suggest.
I'd much rather sit and contemplate life and the people around me and the world beyond me. I can't write or think if I'm in a gym.
GYMS........ omg the unholy church of vanity..... those people are already perfect they don't need to be invaded by my flab.
I'd feel like an athesist at a catholic mass.
I'd opt for a starvation diet before entering one of those anti-perfect cathedrals.
My god I'm afraid I might lose an IQ point or two by just walking through the door.
I've already been dumbed down enough by working in a hair salon I don't think I can spare the brain cells for regular visits to a gym.
Then again maybe I could do it...... and maintain my bitter outlook on the body by Gold's brain by mattel people that surround me. I do abhore my self at times..... I'm much too good to go to shit but I'm much to lazy to do a damn thing about it.
All in all....... I'm happy with my pouch. I like to rub it when I'm wearing my PJs..... I think it's cute.... I like to pat it from time to time as a reminder that I'm not an Olger.
I guess you could say I'm happy with me..... I could be better but I'm not disgusted. I'm satisfyed... I'm cute.... and I'm me.
I could be better and often I desire to be one of those bone thin, hip hugging wearing beauties with their halter tops and long bouncing hair...... then I snap back to reality and notice the girl next to "that" girl ..... the one I'd like to look like....... and then I glance around the room and see another "that" girl and then another, MY GOD, they all look alike..... everyone of them..... they walk, talk, dress, and fall into a huge grouping of abercrombie and fitch, gap ad manquines.
I don't want to blend into any crowd EVER!!!
I don't want to become another face passed over.... I want people to stop for just a second and ponder me. I want them to realize that I'm different, because I'AM different.
I'am unique..... remember that people...
I have soul... I have a deep awareness of the things that happen around me and the people that make those things happen.
I feel people..... I feel their pain and I feel their happiness and I feel their dissappointment....or I watch it rather register across their faces from moment to moment.... you can read volumns in the faces of those around you if only you take the time to notice.... which we often neglect to do.. too absorbed in our own dramas.
All too often I feel their anger, sadness, and above all I can feel a fake emotion..... a slight grin, a hello, a hug... I can feel those dissconnectd niceities..... they sicken me the most.
Don't greet me if your hello is as hollow as you.
I'm so full of colors, and emotions, circles, hard lines, opinions, anger, love, passion, soft sighs, sweet moans, amazing ideas and words.... I harbor a love for strangers..... the downtrodden, the hard luck losers, the handicapped, the twisted hand of god works wonders in these people.
They know so much more of faith then you will ever know you perfectly healthy assholes that take everyday for granted.
They are this world's last saints..... the hobos the bums the shoeless homeless loveless forgotten beings..... you should thank them, for taking your place...... the world needs them to remind us of our own fortune... Today you're ignoring them..... tomorrow by some twist of fate you will become them.
Ok I got so off subject there....
The moral of this whole damn diatribe is that you... YOU... everyone of you... abercrombie/mall fashion slaves, college budget watching, goodwill plundering, punk rock "I don't give a shit" assholes... all need to stop looking at people and really start seeing them.... it's not about how much flesh they have on their bones, what they adorn themselves with, or what fucking frat/sorority they are in ..... it's about humanity....
From now on....... EVERYTIME you meet someone..... or pass an unsavoury charcter on the street...... or even if you're asked for money and you don't think you should give it...... because he's got to be a crack head or an alcoholic or a junkie....... THINK about it.....
For the Grace of God, there go I.......
FOR THE GRACE OF GOD.......
THERE GO I.....
and don't think that you aren't a tragedy away from it my friends....
You never know when you'll have to depend on the kindness of strangers.