(no subject)
it's so funny when I actually check and post in this thing. it's so unbelievably infrequent, but I like posting now and then.
So, life? Nine days til I turn 21. The more I think about it, the most excited I get. I feel like it changes so much about how I see myself. I know that sounds ridiculous, and naive, but I believe it anyway. I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, which is disappointing (I was hoping for exciting plans), but all my best friends can't seem to make it. ie already has other plans. Anyway, I don't want this to be a negative post, because that wouldn't be accurately describing my life right now.
I just spent a week at Unity Village in Lee's Summit, Missouri. I took three classes at the Unity Institute. It totally changed my life, my spirituality, and God in my eyes. I read books and met inspiring, amazing ministers and argued about my beliefs and felt God-energy flow through my entire body til I was shaking. I know that sounds silly, but it happened. I thought I was having a seizure when I walked into the meditation chapel. It's a room set aside specifically for prayer, and it's completely silent, and it's beautiful. When I walked in, I starting shaking. I felt God-energy bouncing around my entire body. I always doubted God's goodness, his infinity. I didn't ever believe that God was powerful enough to show me the strength to find happiness for myself.
With that gushing aside, going to Unity Village made me realize that I want to go back there and maybe become a licensed Unity Minister. I know that sounds not completely sold on that idea, but I'm also planning on teaching English as a Second Language in other countries and I really want to do the Peace Corps. I can fully see myself not wanting to stop doing that because I love it so much. But I'm nursing the idea, meditating about it. I'm also acknowledging that I won't probably know what I want until I teach and then spend more time at Unity Village.
I've also been thinking of ways to combine both of these plans. Unity in other countries? Basic Unity teachings in schools where I'll be teaching? My main goal is to make a difference, a tiny ripple of peace spreading through the world. that's what I aspire my life to be.
Sorry to rant alot, but I feel so strongly about this that I need a lot of words to express myself.
And on top of that whole huge life-love-changing experience, I'm going to France on Sept 25th. I'm studying abroad and I'll be there til Dec 17th. I know that this trip is going to change everything about me. I'm scared that I'm not going to step up to the challenge, but then I remind myself that it's going to be totally awesome and I'm totally awesome and I can totally do whatever I want. I'm taking classes there and for the first time, I'll be relying on my knowledge of another languages. I dabble with so many different languages and try to know their basic vocabulary.... but this is obviously going to be so much than that. AHHHH. Now that I'm typing about my feelings, I find myself grinning at my computer in excitement.
I know I'm going to miss my friends at Longwood so much, my sisters, my other dear friends, and the professors, the community, everything. I have always felt right at home at Longwood... since my first tour. I knew that it was right where I was supposed to be. <3 But I get to go back. I'm not graduating until 2013. Boo, a missing education credit. But I'm only seeing the silver lining: I get to be at Longwood longer.
So many huge things are happening. I'm so excited about my life. I never knew that life could be like this. When I look back at memories of my miserable teen years, when I didn't believe life could be good, I'm amazed. But without going through all that, I wouldn't appreciate the now as much as I do.
God is good and I see it in every part of my life.
<3
So, life? Nine days til I turn 21. The more I think about it, the most excited I get. I feel like it changes so much about how I see myself. I know that sounds ridiculous, and naive, but I believe it anyway. I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, which is disappointing (I was hoping for exciting plans), but all my best friends can't seem to make it. ie already has other plans. Anyway, I don't want this to be a negative post, because that wouldn't be accurately describing my life right now.
I just spent a week at Unity Village in Lee's Summit, Missouri. I took three classes at the Unity Institute. It totally changed my life, my spirituality, and God in my eyes. I read books and met inspiring, amazing ministers and argued about my beliefs and felt God-energy flow through my entire body til I was shaking. I know that sounds silly, but it happened. I thought I was having a seizure when I walked into the meditation chapel. It's a room set aside specifically for prayer, and it's completely silent, and it's beautiful. When I walked in, I starting shaking. I felt God-energy bouncing around my entire body. I always doubted God's goodness, his infinity. I didn't ever believe that God was powerful enough to show me the strength to find happiness for myself.
With that gushing aside, going to Unity Village made me realize that I want to go back there and maybe become a licensed Unity Minister. I know that sounds not completely sold on that idea, but I'm also planning on teaching English as a Second Language in other countries and I really want to do the Peace Corps. I can fully see myself not wanting to stop doing that because I love it so much. But I'm nursing the idea, meditating about it. I'm also acknowledging that I won't probably know what I want until I teach and then spend more time at Unity Village.
I've also been thinking of ways to combine both of these plans. Unity in other countries? Basic Unity teachings in schools where I'll be teaching? My main goal is to make a difference, a tiny ripple of peace spreading through the world. that's what I aspire my life to be.
Sorry to rant alot, but I feel so strongly about this that I need a lot of words to express myself.
And on top of that whole huge life-love-changing experience, I'm going to France on Sept 25th. I'm studying abroad and I'll be there til Dec 17th. I know that this trip is going to change everything about me. I'm scared that I'm not going to step up to the challenge, but then I remind myself that it's going to be totally awesome and I'm totally awesome and I can totally do whatever I want. I'm taking classes there and for the first time, I'll be relying on my knowledge of another languages. I dabble with so many different languages and try to know their basic vocabulary.... but this is obviously going to be so much than that. AHHHH. Now that I'm typing about my feelings, I find myself grinning at my computer in excitement.
I know I'm going to miss my friends at Longwood so much, my sisters, my other dear friends, and the professors, the community, everything. I have always felt right at home at Longwood... since my first tour. I knew that it was right where I was supposed to be. <3 But I get to go back. I'm not graduating until 2013. Boo, a missing education credit. But I'm only seeing the silver lining: I get to be at Longwood longer.
So many huge things are happening. I'm so excited about my life. I never knew that life could be like this. When I look back at memories of my miserable teen years, when I didn't believe life could be good, I'm amazed. But without going through all that, I wouldn't appreciate the now as much as I do.
God is good and I see it in every part of my life.
<3