まってるよ
I have a friend who is upset with me right now. At least she expressed that to one of our other friends during Thanksgiving break. Her and I used to work together back during our coffee shop days. It is where we met. Anyways, we all love her and because she's the youngest in the group we normally refer to her as our baby, in the most endearing way of course.
She has always been the pessimistic kind, but ever since she started dating this one guy (who is not a bad guy I suppose, but he hasn't made the best impression on me), I feel like she's changed. She's not her anymore; she almost seems like an empty shell of herself. And our other friends agree. We feel like we've lost her in a sense. Especially since she moved in with the guy, and we all still think it was a bad idea because she had barely turned 19 when she did so.
I've told her all this before. I was actually surprised that she took it so well (or did she?) when I did tell her. She's very sensitive and tends to take things very personally so I thought it would really bother her when I told her, but I told her because we all love her so much that we get worried like this, and only true friends would be this concerned and would actually notice a change in personality. I remember that day we talked it all out; it felt like our relationship with her was finally returning to normal again.
Until recently, I guess.
I understand I've been off the radar. And even now that I lost my phone and still haven't bothered to get another one (because no one texts or calls, seriously), you can say I'm unreachable. But I'm not. This is the 21st century. Most of us use our phones more to update our statuses on Twitter and Facebook than we do to actually make calls. So if you really want to reach me you can, on here, email, Twitter, and FB.
But besides losing my phone my life has taken an unexpected turn because I've had to quit school to focus on helping out my mom and our family financially. Because I can't finish school right now it means I have to delay wanting to move to Japan and work, because unless under very special circumstances, Japan will not give you a work visa if you do not have at least a Bachelor's degree.
And all of my problems, all of my worries, they are connected; they build on one another.
The longer I put off helping my mom, the more we suffer as a family.
The longer I put off school, the longer it takes to go Japan, or to get a decent job whatsoever that pays well enough for me to live on my own and help my mom.
The longer I put off going to Japan, the longer I have to wait to see 57.
The longer I make 57 wait...the better chance he will give up on me.
If he hasn't already.
Of which I'm not sure because well, it's just so hard to tell with him. I could try and hash it out in my head but there's no point. I still love him, more than anyone.
My friend, the one who is upset with me, has no idea what is going on in my life. I don't blame her, because I don't want her to know. It wasn't until last weekend, when Delta rejected my application for a position as a Japanese language speaking flight attendant did I spill the beans to two of my closest best friends because I just couldn't take it anymore. Afterwards I wrote the previous post on LJ, because I was crying out for help.
She feels like she can't relate to me anymore, and she blames that on Arashi. I'm not just saying this as their fan but that's just not true. Last week, I hung out almost every night of the week with people who don't have any idea Arashi even exists, who have no knowledge of the Japanese language and could not tell you even one thing about the culture to save their life. Yet we still had a good time. It all comes down to personality and whether you have chemistry with someone. Because she's lost her personality, she can't relate to us anymore. That's the issue here.
I've contacted her through Twitter and by texting her cell phone from my Google Voice number(which by the way, if you need an invite I still have a few), but I haven't received a reply yet. According to a friend she recently made a post that she doesn't have many true friends anymore. Boy, does she have some growing up to do.
I already bought her a Christmas gift I know will make her smile, even laugh if she let's herself. I intend on giving it to her and resolving our conflict no matter what it costs. Even true friends fight and doubt each other at times. So I will wait until she feels comfortable to talk to me again. レイちゃん、まってるよ。
Edit:: I just got some very angry replies from her. It seems she's been harboring these feelings for a while. I hope she comes to our next get-together.
She has always been the pessimistic kind, but ever since she started dating this one guy (who is not a bad guy I suppose, but he hasn't made the best impression on me), I feel like she's changed. She's not her anymore; she almost seems like an empty shell of herself. And our other friends agree. We feel like we've lost her in a sense. Especially since she moved in with the guy, and we all still think it was a bad idea because she had barely turned 19 when she did so.
I've told her all this before. I was actually surprised that she took it so well (or did she?) when I did tell her. She's very sensitive and tends to take things very personally so I thought it would really bother her when I told her, but I told her because we all love her so much that we get worried like this, and only true friends would be this concerned and would actually notice a change in personality. I remember that day we talked it all out; it felt like our relationship with her was finally returning to normal again.
Until recently, I guess.
I understand I've been off the radar. And even now that I lost my phone and still haven't bothered to get another one (because no one texts or calls, seriously), you can say I'm unreachable. But I'm not. This is the 21st century. Most of us use our phones more to update our statuses on Twitter and Facebook than we do to actually make calls. So if you really want to reach me you can, on here, email, Twitter, and FB.
But besides losing my phone my life has taken an unexpected turn because I've had to quit school to focus on helping out my mom and our family financially. Because I can't finish school right now it means I have to delay wanting to move to Japan and work, because unless under very special circumstances, Japan will not give you a work visa if you do not have at least a Bachelor's degree.
And all of my problems, all of my worries, they are connected; they build on one another.
The longer I put off helping my mom, the more we suffer as a family.
The longer I put off school, the longer it takes to go Japan, or to get a decent job whatsoever that pays well enough for me to live on my own and help my mom.
The longer I put off going to Japan, the longer I have to wait to see 57.
The longer I make 57 wait...the better chance he will give up on me.
If he hasn't already.
Of which I'm not sure because well, it's just so hard to tell with him. I could try and hash it out in my head but there's no point. I still love him, more than anyone.
My friend, the one who is upset with me, has no idea what is going on in my life. I don't blame her, because I don't want her to know. It wasn't until last weekend, when Delta rejected my application for a position as a Japanese language speaking flight attendant did I spill the beans to two of my closest best friends because I just couldn't take it anymore. Afterwards I wrote the previous post on LJ, because I was crying out for help.
She feels like she can't relate to me anymore, and she blames that on Arashi. I'm not just saying this as their fan but that's just not true. Last week, I hung out almost every night of the week with people who don't have any idea Arashi even exists, who have no knowledge of the Japanese language and could not tell you even one thing about the culture to save their life. Yet we still had a good time. It all comes down to personality and whether you have chemistry with someone. Because she's lost her personality, she can't relate to us anymore. That's the issue here.
I've contacted her through Twitter and by texting her cell phone from my Google Voice number(which by the way, if you need an invite I still have a few), but I haven't received a reply yet. According to a friend she recently made a post that she doesn't have many true friends anymore. Boy, does she have some growing up to do.
I already bought her a Christmas gift I know will make her smile, even laugh if she let's herself. I intend on giving it to her and resolving our conflict no matter what it costs. Even true friends fight and doubt each other at times. So I will wait until she feels comfortable to talk to me again. レイちゃん、まってるよ。
Edit:: I just got some very angry replies from her. It seems she's been harboring these feelings for a while. I hope she comes to our next get-together.