I Love You...Really
I love you, really...
Type: Oneshot
Characters: Kyuhyun, Sungmin , Seohyun , Ryeowook, Eunhyuk
Genre: angst, heartbroken
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the character...
Note : This is based on true story
[Here...]The first time I met him, I didn’t have much feeling yet. I was just a new college student, with only one girl as a friend and a nice roommate. But, by the end of the month, I realize that my friend is just a friend in the class and my roommate left for another college that she got.
The first time that I got to know his name, he was smiling to another girl. Well, I still didn’t feel anything much at that time because I just think him as one of my classmate. I also started to make friends with other people. We started having lunch and dinner together with the other.
The first time, I celebrated your birthday on February, I didn’t know about it at all until one of our friends took out a cake for surprise. I was shocked to be exact and yet, I still congrats you like how a friend should. Well, we are nothing but just a friend after all.
Soon after that, we started to spend more time together. We laughed, and have lots of happy time together. I have never been this happy like this before. You are my first ‘boy friend’ after all. Unlike others, you treat me like a real friend and I was really grateful until now.
In the second year of our studying, we started to grow closer and people started talking about how close we are like a siblings. We were so attached to each other, but then one day, a friend came to me, told me true but shocking news.
“He has a girlfriend!” Wook exclaimed.
“What? But, he didn’t even tell me anything about it.” I’m still confused.
“Eh, you didn’t know, Ming? I thought that he tell you everything. Well, he did tell me that he has a girlfriend.” Hyuk added.
I’m dumbfounded.
“He…told you.”
“I guess he is not your best friend after all.” They teased together followed by a laugh.
I faked laughing together with them. I don’t want them to see the other side. My heart hurt, I feel like a part of me being crushed. It was not because that I am jealous that he has a girlfriend, but, I was hurt to know that everyone else knows about that matter…except me. What makes me to him actually? Who am I to him?
“So, this is your girlfriend?” the girl in front of me nodded shyly with blush cheek.
“Yah, don’t tease her so much.” Kyu tried to defend her.
“Hehe…I didn’t even do anything to her, Kyu. Calm down.” It was the first time I saw he’s acting like that.
“Anyway, I’m Ming.”
“I…I’m Seo.” We both shook hands and become friends.
He was willing to introduce me his girlfriend personally, thus I think that I should just let go the fact that he kept the secret away from me before. Starting from that moment, I always teased him how cheesy he is with his girlfriend. They seem so nice and happy together. At that time, I have always prayed that he will happy. But, at the same time, I realize there’s a part inside my heart has started to grow. On the third year of our studying, I am sure I have fallen in love with him.
What should I do with this feeling? He already has a girlfriend and I was nothing but just a friend for him. I shouldn’t feel anything for him. I must not feel anything for him. I tried to tell myself over and over again. I was determined to keep my feeling away from anyone. I tried to find other love. But, he found out that I became a total stranger girlfriend, he was furious.
“What do you think you’re doing, Ming?! Where did you know that guy?” he questioned me angrily.
“Err…Internet? Chat room?”
“Ming!”
“Then, what do you want me to do? He asked me to be his girlfriend.”
“He’s a stranger!”
“We have contacted each other for 6 months.” I tried to defend myself.
“Then, have you met him?” he continue staring at me.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and slowly shook my head.
Bum! And I got a knock by a book on the head.
“Kyu! That’s hurt!”
“That’s for your reckless behavior.” His eyes were totally burning.
As I rubbed my head painfully, he continues nagging at me that I should just break up. Well, he didn’t even give me any chance to explain anything. Actually, by the time I told him the story I already break up with the boy. I feel suspicious with that guy behavior in truth and he was right when he said the guy is a stranger. He creep me out!
Still, I was happy that he cares about me so much. It makes my heart feel special. And yet, I know, he did that just out of courtesy. His kindness has spread and everyone approve of that. He was kind to everyone that he knew and that everyone is including me. Sometime, he will tell me about the story of his relationship. He has been quarreling with her girlfriend a lot and there’s nothing I could do, except just listen. After a few months, he came to me one day with a gloomy face.
“I break up with her.” He said.
A part of me was happy, but other part was really sympathy with him. The girl was his first love and yet, they have to break up, only because the girl said, she has someone else that loves her more. I was angry a little with that stupid reason. Anyone could see how much he loves his girlfriend so much. Well, no one can truly understand people’s heart. They broke up and just like usual, all I can do is stay by his side.
Finally, on the third year, we have to separate. I went to continue my study to other place and he still stays at the same place. Before we actually separate, I asked for a date with him. Only just me and him. We had a dinner together and I gathered all my courage to in the end confess to him.
“I…I like you so much, Kyu. Really more than anything.” I said, stammered.
The scene fell into silent suddenly. I had to put my head down to hide the embarrassment.
“Hahaha…” he suddenly burst out laughter.
My eyes widened, I didn’t know how I should react more with the reaction.
“Hahaha…you’re so funny, Ming. If this is a joke, well, it was really funny.” He continued laughing.
He laughed. Till now, I can still remember the laugh. He was laughing hard, and I tried my best to keep my composure calm. I must not let he realized that I was heartbroken. Totally heartbroken. Then, he changed the topic and we continue eating with no more words.
I went to my new college, and slowly we less contact with each other. I put my focus to my study and tried my best to forget him. He was my first love, the first person that I ever love this much and yet, he never reply to my love at all. He only thinks me as a friend, not more than that. But, since he still didn’t have a girlfriend, I’m hoping that I could have a chance. At least, I want him to look at me.
2 years later, we graduate. I am now standing in front of him, holding myself from crying right this instant. He came to me with a girl, my friend. She is my friend and yet, he introduced her as his girlfriend.
“Who… What is your relationship with her? Since…when?” I asked even though deep inside, I could already guess what would be the answer.
“Ming…”
“I told you I love you, right? I love you so much, Kyu.” I’m hurt.
“Ah, Ming… I…”
“Stupid me. I should have known that you will never like an ugly girl like me.” I cut him off, still restraining myself from breaking at that moment.
“I… I…” I knew from his face that he was trying to explain.
“It’s okay, Kyu. I wish you happiness always. Always.” I smiled my best.
Author’s POV
As Ming said the last word, tear finally dropped from her eyes. Her lips were smiling and yet, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling at all. She wants to walk away from there and a hand stopped her from going away. Kyu wants to explain but his words were just stuck in the throat. In the end, he has to let go of the hand and only watched as the girl walked away from there. It was the first time ever that he saw his best friend cried and he couldn’t help from feeling hurt because he knew that the reason behind it, is him.
The end.
***
p/s: This is actually my experience. Starting from the very beginning but the last part is a fiction. I am Ming and Kyu is my best friend. Coincidentally his birthday is also on February. Everything and every word is all about how much I fell for him. Since I couldn’t talk to him, I just want to express my feeling and to lift the burden of me a little through it. I wish that I could confront with him. I wish that he really could understand that I love him, really love him. Not just a friend.
Type: Oneshot
Characters: Kyuhyun, Sungmin , Seohyun , Ryeowook, Eunhyuk
Genre: angst, heartbroken
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the character...
Note : This is based on true story
[Here...]The first time I met him, I didn’t have much feeling yet. I was just a new college student, with only one girl as a friend and a nice roommate. But, by the end of the month, I realize that my friend is just a friend in the class and my roommate left for another college that she got.
The first time that I got to know his name, he was smiling to another girl. Well, I still didn’t feel anything much at that time because I just think him as one of my classmate. I also started to make friends with other people. We started having lunch and dinner together with the other.
The first time, I celebrated your birthday on February, I didn’t know about it at all until one of our friends took out a cake for surprise. I was shocked to be exact and yet, I still congrats you like how a friend should. Well, we are nothing but just a friend after all.
Soon after that, we started to spend more time together. We laughed, and have lots of happy time together. I have never been this happy like this before. You are my first ‘boy friend’ after all. Unlike others, you treat me like a real friend and I was really grateful until now.
In the second year of our studying, we started to grow closer and people started talking about how close we are like a siblings. We were so attached to each other, but then one day, a friend came to me, told me true but shocking news.
“He has a girlfriend!” Wook exclaimed.
“What? But, he didn’t even tell me anything about it.” I’m still confused.
“Eh, you didn’t know, Ming? I thought that he tell you everything. Well, he did tell me that he has a girlfriend.” Hyuk added.
I’m dumbfounded.
“He…told you.”
“I guess he is not your best friend after all.” They teased together followed by a laugh.
I faked laughing together with them. I don’t want them to see the other side. My heart hurt, I feel like a part of me being crushed. It was not because that I am jealous that he has a girlfriend, but, I was hurt to know that everyone else knows about that matter…except me. What makes me to him actually? Who am I to him?
“So, this is your girlfriend?” the girl in front of me nodded shyly with blush cheek.
“Yah, don’t tease her so much.” Kyu tried to defend her.
“Hehe…I didn’t even do anything to her, Kyu. Calm down.” It was the first time I saw he’s acting like that.
“Anyway, I’m Ming.”
“I…I’m Seo.” We both shook hands and become friends.
He was willing to introduce me his girlfriend personally, thus I think that I should just let go the fact that he kept the secret away from me before. Starting from that moment, I always teased him how cheesy he is with his girlfriend. They seem so nice and happy together. At that time, I have always prayed that he will happy. But, at the same time, I realize there’s a part inside my heart has started to grow. On the third year of our studying, I am sure I have fallen in love with him.
What should I do with this feeling? He already has a girlfriend and I was nothing but just a friend for him. I shouldn’t feel anything for him. I must not feel anything for him. I tried to tell myself over and over again. I was determined to keep my feeling away from anyone. I tried to find other love. But, he found out that I became a total stranger girlfriend, he was furious.
“What do you think you’re doing, Ming?! Where did you know that guy?” he questioned me angrily.
“Err…Internet? Chat room?”
“Ming!”
“Then, what do you want me to do? He asked me to be his girlfriend.”
“He’s a stranger!”
“We have contacted each other for 6 months.” I tried to defend myself.
“Then, have you met him?” he continue staring at me.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and slowly shook my head.
Bum! And I got a knock by a book on the head.
“Kyu! That’s hurt!”
“That’s for your reckless behavior.” His eyes were totally burning.
As I rubbed my head painfully, he continues nagging at me that I should just break up. Well, he didn’t even give me any chance to explain anything. Actually, by the time I told him the story I already break up with the boy. I feel suspicious with that guy behavior in truth and he was right when he said the guy is a stranger. He creep me out!
Still, I was happy that he cares about me so much. It makes my heart feel special. And yet, I know, he did that just out of courtesy. His kindness has spread and everyone approve of that. He was kind to everyone that he knew and that everyone is including me. Sometime, he will tell me about the story of his relationship. He has been quarreling with her girlfriend a lot and there’s nothing I could do, except just listen. After a few months, he came to me one day with a gloomy face.
“I break up with her.” He said.
A part of me was happy, but other part was really sympathy with him. The girl was his first love and yet, they have to break up, only because the girl said, she has someone else that loves her more. I was angry a little with that stupid reason. Anyone could see how much he loves his girlfriend so much. Well, no one can truly understand people’s heart. They broke up and just like usual, all I can do is stay by his side.
Finally, on the third year, we have to separate. I went to continue my study to other place and he still stays at the same place. Before we actually separate, I asked for a date with him. Only just me and him. We had a dinner together and I gathered all my courage to in the end confess to him.
“I…I like you so much, Kyu. Really more than anything.” I said, stammered.
The scene fell into silent suddenly. I had to put my head down to hide the embarrassment.
“Hahaha…” he suddenly burst out laughter.
My eyes widened, I didn’t know how I should react more with the reaction.
“Hahaha…you’re so funny, Ming. If this is a joke, well, it was really funny.” He continued laughing.
He laughed. Till now, I can still remember the laugh. He was laughing hard, and I tried my best to keep my composure calm. I must not let he realized that I was heartbroken. Totally heartbroken. Then, he changed the topic and we continue eating with no more words.
I went to my new college, and slowly we less contact with each other. I put my focus to my study and tried my best to forget him. He was my first love, the first person that I ever love this much and yet, he never reply to my love at all. He only thinks me as a friend, not more than that. But, since he still didn’t have a girlfriend, I’m hoping that I could have a chance. At least, I want him to look at me.
2 years later, we graduate. I am now standing in front of him, holding myself from crying right this instant. He came to me with a girl, my friend. She is my friend and yet, he introduced her as his girlfriend.
“Who… What is your relationship with her? Since…when?” I asked even though deep inside, I could already guess what would be the answer.
“Ming…”
“I told you I love you, right? I love you so much, Kyu.” I’m hurt.
“Ah, Ming… I…”
“Stupid me. I should have known that you will never like an ugly girl like me.” I cut him off, still restraining myself from breaking at that moment.
“I… I…” I knew from his face that he was trying to explain.
“It’s okay, Kyu. I wish you happiness always. Always.” I smiled my best.
Author’s POV
As Ming said the last word, tear finally dropped from her eyes. Her lips were smiling and yet, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling at all. She wants to walk away from there and a hand stopped her from going away. Kyu wants to explain but his words were just stuck in the throat. In the end, he has to let go of the hand and only watched as the girl walked away from there. It was the first time ever that he saw his best friend cried and he couldn’t help from feeling hurt because he knew that the reason behind it, is him.
The end.
***
p/s: This is actually my experience. Starting from the very beginning but the last part is a fiction. I am Ming and Kyu is my best friend. Coincidentally his birthday is also on February. Everything and every word is all about how much I fell for him. Since I couldn’t talk to him, I just want to express my feeling and to lift the burden of me a little through it. I wish that I could confront with him. I wish that he really could understand that I love him, really love him. Not just a friend.