Morning
o/~ Still on a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees, when the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon the cloudy seas, when the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor, the highwayman comes riding, riding, riding..the highwayman comes riding up to the old inn-door...o/~
Such lonely music.
Yet another morning is here, and I'm in my usual way, slowly awakening, not really wanting to do much else save for heading back to bed. It's odd though..for all the passion with which I don't want to leave the house and go to work, I realise that's not really how I feel. The morning has become the worst time of the day for me. I feel lonely, tired, and negative in the morning. This is the time of day when I'm apt to stress that I haven't recieved any email back from the merchant of my latest Ebay auction, or wonder what I'm going to do after the lease expires here, or even just worry about money, love, companionship...all my usual things. Then I get clothes on, I eat something, I walk out the door. Usually it's bright and unpleasant outside, but thankfully it's beginning to cool off. (Beginning?! It's almost -October!-) My walks to work are getting less uncomfortable day by day. I've also begun to view an 8-hour work shift as a mere obstacle in the way of getting back home and relaxing, even though that's the rut I'm in....all I do is go to work, come home, and rest so I can go to work again. Of course, most of my options for leaving the house and being welcome to interact with other people, especially furs, have been taken away from me. There really isn't much I can do about it right now either. There's a movie coming out in October I really want to see, and I'll try my best to make that happen. Even that is a chore though, as just getting to the mall is a 90-minute ordeal, and that's -if- I get the bus on time.
It's hard to focus on positive things in the morning, even though there are positive things. I still have wonderful friends, a love interest, a job (at least for the time being) where I can go and laugh with my coworkers and still get work done, a nice dark computer area, a cat that loves me, and cheap, plentiful iced tea.
Those have to count for something.
Cheers.
Such lonely music.
Yet another morning is here, and I'm in my usual way, slowly awakening, not really wanting to do much else save for heading back to bed. It's odd though..for all the passion with which I don't want to leave the house and go to work, I realise that's not really how I feel. The morning has become the worst time of the day for me. I feel lonely, tired, and negative in the morning. This is the time of day when I'm apt to stress that I haven't recieved any email back from the merchant of my latest Ebay auction, or wonder what I'm going to do after the lease expires here, or even just worry about money, love, companionship...all my usual things. Then I get clothes on, I eat something, I walk out the door. Usually it's bright and unpleasant outside, but thankfully it's beginning to cool off. (Beginning?! It's almost -October!-) My walks to work are getting less uncomfortable day by day. I've also begun to view an 8-hour work shift as a mere obstacle in the way of getting back home and relaxing, even though that's the rut I'm in....all I do is go to work, come home, and rest so I can go to work again. Of course, most of my options for leaving the house and being welcome to interact with other people, especially furs, have been taken away from me. There really isn't much I can do about it right now either. There's a movie coming out in October I really want to see, and I'll try my best to make that happen. Even that is a chore though, as just getting to the mall is a 90-minute ordeal, and that's -if- I get the bus on time.
It's hard to focus on positive things in the morning, even though there are positive things. I still have wonderful friends, a love interest, a job (at least for the time being) where I can go and laugh with my coworkers and still get work done, a nice dark computer area, a cat that loves me, and cheap, plentiful iced tea.
Those have to count for something.
Cheers.