Today I helped save a man's life.
Before you start praising me for my outstanding character, I must apologize. Saving this man's life was probably not the best idea, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I was inside the Advance Auto Parts store looking for a 5/8" socket wrench, when someone burst through the front door yelling "he needs help! It's on his head!"
I was at Advance because it is right accross the street from Hardees, and I was craving some greasy meaty goodness with a side of crispy curly fries. I hadn't decided whether or not to eat inside Hardees, or take it home, so I went to the auto parts store first.
So I heard this guy yelling about something being "on his head". As I was holding this cheap socket, probably made in China, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was on this guy's head, and why does he need help? Was it one of those awful trucker's hats that plays music? An octopus like alien sucking on his brain? Curiosity got the best of me, so I reluctantly put the cheap ass socket down and slowly walked towards the door. I contimplated walking straight to my car, and driving across the street to eat, but I decided to investigate.
Two guys were trying to push an old beat up Chevy pickup, and sure enough, it was on top of a guy's head! How fucking cool is that?
I joined in, and the three of us rolled the ugly beast forward. I thought it was going to roll backwards for a moment, and imagined it going all the way over this poor sap's head. I heard someone say it was off of him, and this guy with matted hair crawls up and starts saying something incomprehendilbe about the shift pattern being backwards or something.
Part of his matted mane was torn off, like a dangling clump of mulch. His face was bright red, and wet. The backside of his upper arm was wet and sticky looking, just like his face.
I asked him about his eyesight, and if he was thinking straight (ok, I got a little caught up in the exciteement, and didn't think about who I was dealing with). He just looked at me kind of funny, and embarrassedly replied "Yeah, I'm ok."
Someone asked if he wanted an ambulance, and he said he just wanted to go home and take a nap.
I got my cheap socket, 4 quarts of oil, and a few minutes later, a Sourdough Thickburger. Yummy!
Remember kids, When working on your car or truck in the parking lot of an auto parts store, use your head, but not for a wheel chock!