No need for responses...
In fact, I honestly don't want to fucking hear them...
I'm going to be heading in for therapy some time soon. I'd rather not, but it's about fucking time I admitted that I can't fix myself without some kind of help. I've been destroying everything good in my life for years and I'm really getting sick of it.
For any of you out there thinking "Big fucking deal, so he's going in for therapy...lot's of people do it," you apparently don't know much about me and my background. It involves a few encounters with various therapists, none of which really ended well. I also have deep seated issues with being medicated, so we'll see how things work out.
I'm not okay; I'm not sure if I've ever actually been okay. I may have wasted the past 6 years chasing a career path I don't really want; I may have destroyed the best chance I'll ever have at a loving, fulfilling relationship; I may have dug myself into such a deep hole that I'll never really be able to crawl back out of it. I'm not really sure about anything at this point.
All I do know is that I'm truly scared of where things will end up for me. I read a piece by a writer in the NY Times and I was frightened by how much similarity there is between her early signs and where I am now.
I need help. Anyone who knows me will realize how hard it is for me to admit that...
On a more positive note, I do have a full time job now...nothing spectacular, but it's a start...
I'm going to be heading in for therapy some time soon. I'd rather not, but it's about fucking time I admitted that I can't fix myself without some kind of help. I've been destroying everything good in my life for years and I'm really getting sick of it.
For any of you out there thinking "Big fucking deal, so he's going in for therapy...lot's of people do it," you apparently don't know much about me and my background. It involves a few encounters with various therapists, none of which really ended well. I also have deep seated issues with being medicated, so we'll see how things work out.
I'm not okay; I'm not sure if I've ever actually been okay. I may have wasted the past 6 years chasing a career path I don't really want; I may have destroyed the best chance I'll ever have at a loving, fulfilling relationship; I may have dug myself into such a deep hole that I'll never really be able to crawl back out of it. I'm not really sure about anything at this point.
All I do know is that I'm truly scared of where things will end up for me. I read a piece by a writer in the NY Times and I was frightened by how much similarity there is between her early signs and where I am now.
I need help. Anyone who knows me will realize how hard it is for me to admit that...
On a more positive note, I do have a full time job now...nothing spectacular, but it's a start...